Libido

When it comes to keeping our minds and bodies feeling great, living a healthy lifestyle consisting of a well-balanced diet, plenty of H2O and sleep, regular exercise, and an abundance of playtime with friends and family is sometimes all you really need. Adopting healthy habits also does wonders for another facet of total body wellness — your sex life! That's right, taking care of yourself affects all areas of your life, especially the maintenance of a healthy libido. If your sex drive needs a bit of revving, here are some quick and natural ways to bring back the spark. Although if you feel like your low libido could be attributed to a medical issue or medications, be sure to check in with your doctor.

Keep reading for the libido enhancers!

This question is from a Group Therapy post in our TrèsSugar Community. Add your advice in the comments!

My boyfriend and I have sex maybe twice a week, if that. But when we're in bed to go to sleep, my body is asking for sex. I mean every night I get this feeling where I'm at a point where I don't want to cuddle with my boyfriend anymore because his touch arouses me! And he also is at the point were he is super tired at night and doesn't want to have sex, so I'm usually begging for sex!

Have a dilemma of your own? Post it anonymously to Group Therapy for advice, and check out what else is happening in the TrèsSugar Community.

This question is from a Group Therapy post in our TrèsSugar Community. Add your advice in the comments!

I have a very difficult time enjoying sex. I have the desire and love making-out and everything leading up to it, but as soon a guy actually touches my genitals, I shut down. No matter how into the foreplay I was, I just go sort of emotionally numb and detach from the situation. Physically, I'm not numb, like I can feel what's going on, I just don't get any pleasure from it.

And it doesn't matter if it's a guy I'm in a relationship with, or if it's a one-night stand. Either way, it's the same thing. With my last boyfriend, I would always wrap my arms around him during sex, just because I got more out of the intimacy of hugging than anything else that was going on. I thought that masturbation might help, so that I could get in touch with my body before I let someone else. But even touching myself feels more clinical than pleasurable. Like I know where everything is, and I know that it's supposed to feel good, but I just don't feel anything.

I know what you're probably thinking at this point, but no I was never abused. I grew up in a very normal, loving family, without any trauma. I know that what I'm going through is typical of abuse survivors, but I can't understand why this is happening to me. I've never discussed this with anyone, and this was very hard to write, but I'm desperate for advice.

As you can imagine, the guys I'm with realize that something is up, but I don't know how to explain it. It's hard enough to explain that I've never had an orgasm, let alone that I'm not even enjoying sex. It's caused a lot of problems and helped end a couple relationships. Does anyone know why this might be happening, or better yet, how I can stop it?

Have a dilemma of your own? Post it anonymously to Group Therapy for advice, and check out what else is happening in the TrèsSugar Community.

TrèsSugar readers post all types of unique and detailed questions in our community Group Therapy. But we also see some repeat players, including a variation of this reader question: "What can I do to increase my libido? Should I just have sex even when I don't feel like it?" I decided to go to sexologist Dr. Ian Kerner, author of She Comes First: The Thinking Man's Guide to Pleasuring a Woman, for his expert opinion. He says that lack of female sexual arousal could be a physical condition, caused by stress, medication, or a specific disease like diabetes or MS. So it's important to check with your doctor. Beyond a physical issue, a mental block about your relationship could also result in a low libido. If that's the case, here's Dr. Kerner's advice:

Are you happy with your relationship overall, or is the lack of libido a symptom of your attitude toward the situation? Do you find yourself sexually attracted to other men, but then that feeling seems to disappear when it comes to thoughts of intimacy with your partner? Remember that once the lust of a new partner wears off, your sexual connection is tied to much broader feelings of your relationship. If you are unhappy, figure out what it is — has he stopped paying attention to you like he used to? Has he let himself go and gained a few pounds?

Also look to yourself. Are you unhappy with your physical appearance or other factors that are stopping you from connecting with your partner? Consider if these are things you’re comfortable discussing with your partner and are willing to work on together. Remember a great relationship is a long road, so you’ll hit some bumps, but hopefully you can smooth things out more often than not, and when you feel a strong connection, it generally translates to more satisfaction in bed.

As for whether or not you should have sex when you're not in the mood, Dr. Kerner says there's not a clear yes or no answer. Find out what he has to say after the jump.

This question is from a Group Therapy post in our TrèsSugar Community. Add your advice in the comments!

I don't want it often. Maybe, every few weeks, I'll want it a fair amount, about 2-3 times a week. But, then . . . I don't want it again. It can be up to about a month where I don't want to have sex with my boyfriend. We've been together for 6 years. We love each other so much. He gets frustrated when I hit my not-turned-on patch, and I hate rejecting him, and I know it hurts him. Emotionally . . . everything is amazing. Sexually, we've always had some difficulty.

Sometimes it hurts when we have sex, due to me being too tight. Believe me, we've tried everything. Apparently that won't be fixed until after I have kids, according to my gynecologist, which I can deal with. Sex is OK,  but foreplay is amazing. We both agree on that topic. So, there's no loss there.

Get the rest after the jump!

This question comes from a Group Therapy post in our TrèsSugar Community. Add your advice in the comments!

So, I've been dating a guy for three years and I have hardly no desire to have sex with him. I don't know why. At the start of our relationship, I was all into it (it never has been good, but I was hoping it would get better, you see). He was my first, and I had never really been intimate with other men before that, but now it's like it has disappeared.

I love to hang out with him and go out with him, but I feel awkward and I never want to have sex with him anymore, or even oral sex. I don't mind touching him but I don't feel aroused when he touches me, and I feel really bad saying so because he tries so hard to satisfy me but I have a hard time getting into it that he gets discouraged. Worst part is, I'm not cheating or getting it elsewhere. I just lost interest in sex. But this is putting a serious strain on our relationship. And I know I should just bite the bullet and go along with it to make him happy, but it's hard when you're not into it, AT ALL. And he knows, so then he feels awkward, too.

Is this normal? Does this ever happen? And how do I get it back?

Have a dilemma of your own? Post it, anonymously, to Group Therapy for advice, and check out what else is happening in the TrèsSugar Community.

With Republicans set to win the majority of elections today, conservative sex should be anything but timid tonight. A new study found that, according to Google Trends, porn use went up in red states after George W. Bush was elected and in blue states after Barack Obama won.

Researchers believe testosterone rises after a male wins a fight or challenge and increases his sex drive. The study did not look specifically at women, assuming the majority of porn searchers are men. But porn is only one way to satisfy a sex craving, which makes tonight good for coupled winners. Maybe "voting leads to sex" should be 2012's Rock the Vote angle?

Sexual dysfunction is far from uncommon in men and women. Despite dissatisfaction among 43 percent of women, only 10 percent report it. What of the rest? They're what researchers have dubbed "happily dysfunctional."

I don't buy it, though. First, we should account for women who are just too embarrassed to seek help. I have no idea what percent that is, but I'm confident it's a sizable swath of women not reporting problems. Now we should acknowledge, and to be fair so do researchers, that sexual dysfunction in women is not nearly as clear cut as it is in men. If men have erectile dysfunction then they can't have sex, but a lack of desire (the usual suspect for women) does not necessarily prevent sex.

Could these women just not care? Find out below.

Zestra, the female enhancement oil that can't get its ads on TV, might actually work. In fact, anything claiming to raise female sexual satisfaction might have the desired effect not thanks to its physical components, but because of the psychological power of the placebo. In a recent study, 35 percent of women with sexual dysfunction disorders experienced a significant improvement in their sex lives when given a placebo pill.

Trying to explain the results, the researchers say women need more than fake pills. All the participants spoke with healthcare workers who took their concerns seriously. Along with taking the placebo pill, women were encouraged to have more sex, and record their experiences and feelings toward sex.

While men's sexual disorders often result from physiological issues, these results suggest that the secrets to female sexual pleasure sometimes lie in our minds. Do you see some truth in that?