This question is from a Group Therapy post in our TrèsSugar Community. Add your advice in the comments!
I have a very difficult time enjoying sex. I have the desire and love making-out and everything leading up to it, but as soon a guy actually touches my genitals, I shut down. No matter how into the foreplay I was, I just go sort of emotionally numb and detach from the situation. Physically, I'm not numb, like I can feel what's going on, I just don't get any pleasure from it.
And it doesn't matter if it's a guy I'm in a relationship with, or if it's a one-night stand. Either way, it's the same thing. With my last boyfriend, I would always wrap my arms around him during sex, just because I got more out of the intimacy of hugging than anything else that was going on. I thought that masturbation might help, so that I could get in touch with my body before I let someone else. But even touching myself feels more clinical than pleasurable. Like I know where everything is, and I know that it's supposed to feel good, but I just don't feel anything.
I know what you're probably thinking at this point, but no I was never abused. I grew up in a very normal, loving family, without any trauma. I know that what I'm going through is typical of abuse survivors, but I can't understand why this is happening to me. I've never discussed this with anyone, and this was very hard to write, but I'm desperate for advice.
As you can imagine, the guys I'm with realize that something is up, but I don't know how to explain it. It's hard enough to explain that I've never had an orgasm, let alone that I'm not even enjoying sex. It's caused a lot of problems and helped end a couple relationships. Does anyone know why this might be happening, or better yet, how I can stop it?
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