"I think Jesus was a compassionate, super-intelligent gay man who understood human problems.
— Elton John, seen here at the Grammys, tells Parade that he thinks Jesus played for his team.
Before you accuse me of being sacrilegious, know this: the people who keep seeing Jesus in snack foods are the ones who consider him sacred!
Dan and Sara Bell stopped by a gas station to fill up the tank and pick up a bag of Cheetos, when lo and behold, Sara paused before popping what they now call Cheesus into her mouth. "Oh my gosh," she recalls saying. "Look at this! It really looks like a person in a robe praying." How did she rationalize comparing Jesus to the beloved yet reviled neon orange snack food? "It is a reminder of our blessings from God." Hmmm.
Ever wonder what Elvis and Jesus would look like hanging out in heaven? Well, the velvet painting artist Ramirez wants to aid you in your reveries. With "lovely purple clouds, Jesus in brown robes, Elvis . . . wearing a jacket with high-collar white shirt [and] a halo behind his head," Ramirez's amazing painting will give you more to go on the next time you daydream about this match made in heaven. As I write this, the auction has only five hours to go, but perhaps it will be relisted. Click here for the details.
Who says Santa and the Easter bunny have a monopoly on being sculpted in chocolate? Just in time for the holidays, an enterprising confectioner in Germany is making hand-crafted candy Jesus figures. Not surprisingly, German churches have critized the idea as "tasteless" (but did they try the chocolate?!).
According to the company website, the high-quality organic chocolate "is produced without exploitation of our fellow humans or the natural resources awarded to us by God, as this would be unchristian." Biting the head off a chocolate Jesus, however, is a great way to celebrate any Christian holiday, "where they can help to refocus on the real meaning of these events."
Man Finds Jesus in a Cheeto. Okay, I'm not religious, but isn't this considered sacriligious? Upgrade to a kettle chip at least!
Most people find Jesus at church, but Steve Cragg found Jesus in a Cheeto. While snacking down one day, the youth director at Memorial Drive United Methodist Church in Houston noticed that his Cheeto resembled Jesus.
The find, which has been dubbed "Cheesus" lives prominently on Cragg's bookcase. When asked about it, Cragg said:
If you're looking for God in different places, you can find God in different places. I don't think God makes Cheetos that look like Jesus. I'm not sure he does grilled cheese sandwiches that look like the Virgin Mary. I do know that God reveals himself to us in a lot of different ways.
So although he doesn't make them shaped like Jesus, God apparently reveals himself in Cheetos.
What I'm wondering is, if an Illinois-shaped cornflake can sell for over a thousand dollars, how much Cragg would get for his find?
To watch the video where Cragg talks about his discovery and how he first thought it looked like a dog, read more
It all started with a mysterious phone call. The voice on the other end of the line whispered, "Check your mailbox!" That's when this lady discovered a ransom note threatening to withhold and possibly harm her Jesus lawn statue until the neighborhood "weiner poopie" is all cleaned up. But she always picks up after her pets, so what more can she do? More importantly, WWJD? Y'all prepare yourselves cuz all Heaven is about to break loose. . .
