Hilda Hutcherson

With Christmas behind us and New Year's Eve on the horizon, hopefully, you and your partner can catch some downtime this week. Sexual health expert Dr. Hilda Hutcherson, who recently authored the Seasons of Love ebook, told me that despite the distractions and stress, couples can avoid fights and feelings of distance during this time of year. Here are three common holiday pitfalls she shared with me, as well as tips for steering clear of them.

1. Feeling too unhealthy for intimacy. "With all of the holiday goodies that are, no doubt, in abundance during this time of the year, it is difficult for anyone to abide by a healthy diet," Dr. Hutcherson concedes. And unfortunately, cookies and eggnog can lead to sluggishness that may turn couples off to intimacy, she explains. "Instead of allowing yourself to give into the power of sweets, make sure to stick to the old adage 'everything in moderation,' ensuring that you will to stay in good spirits and good shape."
2. Neglecting each other. "The holidays are all about spending quality time with your loved ones, yet we often forget about the loved one who we see most often," says Dr. Hutcherson. "If you are hosting family from out of town, or visiting relatives elsewhere, be sure that your partner doesn’t feel neglected by interacting with your him, on an intimate level." Some tips to help: flirting, touching, and connecting sexually. "A great trick, make a point to hug each other at least three times a day, for at least 30 seconds each time," she suggests.
3. Money worries. "Harping about the financial toll of the holidays is often a pitfall that claims many people during the Winter months." Dr. Hutcherson points out. She says keeping the lines of communication open is key. "Discussing the pesky issues that arise can help couples address them together, thus bringing partners closer together. Getting the perfect gift doesn’t necessarily mean a fancy watch or diamonds." Instead, she says, "invest time, as opposed to money, in your relationship."

Do you have any advice to add?

Can the most wonderful time of the year also be the sexiest? You might think family time, overeating, and stressful shopping guarantee that the holidays are anything but sexy. Yet, sexual health expert Dr. Hilda Hutcherson says that doesn't have to be the case. She says the season has one thing going for it: time off, which you can spend together.

"No other time of year allows for quite a break, and while holiday duties may fill your schedule, it's important for you as a couple to take advantage of the newfound freedom," explains Dr. Hutcherson, who recently authored the Seasons of Love ebook. And she has one creative way to fill the time you set aside for you and your partner: start a relationship tradition. "Whether it is exchanging a present a few days early, planning a special date night, or playing hooky one day to find the perfect tree," Dr. Hutcherson tells me, "doing something special with your partner will make the Winter season just that, special." Another idea she offers: go see an action flick and agree to re-create some action when you get home.

If you're in a longterm relationship, do you have a special holiday tradition you've created together? Share them in the comments!

"Getting through the holidays isn't always easy, especially when it comes to your relationship," admits sexual health expert Dr. Hilda Hutcherson. Despite the challenges, the director of the Center for Sexual Health at Columbia University and co-author of the new Seasons of Love ebook believes the holidays actually provide an opportunity to improve your relationship. We caught up with Dr. Hutcherson, and she gave us five tips for turning the stressful season into a sensual one. Here they are:

1. Make time for date nights. "Just as you set aside time on your calendar for a cookie swap and office party, reserve at least two nights just for you and your partner," advises Dr. Hutcherson. And she suggests letting Winter inspire your date ideas. "Take a walk to admire the decorations in your neighborhood and keep warm with a cup of hot chocolate," she says, or "grab an hour or two and go ice-skating at a local rink."
2. Use sexy stocking stuffers. "Who says toys are just for kids?" Dr. Hutcherson asked us. She thinks we should spice up our stockings. "For the more tame, grab massage oil and some candles; they will not only set the mood for more romance, but a soothing rubdown can ease even the most tense of partners." As for the adventurous givers, "a vibrator is sure to get her engine revving and rid her mind of any Yuletide blues. Looking to fall somewhere in between? Take it up a notch with an arousal gel to heighten sexual pleasure and sensitivity, like the new K-Y Date Night Packs."
3. Make sexolutions. "We take the time to focus on our finances, waistline, and jobs come Jan. 1," says Dr. Hutcherson, "but why not our relationships?" Her tip for making them last: "Take small steps and gradually build up to a great result. For instance, don't make a promise to have more or better sex, be more specific — have sex once a week, try out a new position once a month, enjoy a date night twice per month."

Keep reading for two more sensual suggestions from Dr. Hutcherson.

As the author of three bestselling books, including What Your Mother Never Told You About Sex, Dr. Hilda Hutcherson has a lot to teach us. I caught up with the successful gynecologist, known for her message of empowerment, at K-Y Brand's booth at the Women's Conference last week and asked her what five things every woman should do right now to guarantee a healthier and happier sex life. Here are her tips!

1. Know your body: "As a gynecologist for over 20 years I've found that most women really don't understand their body parts and how those body parts. Learn your body by exploring it and finding out how it responds."
2. Realize you deserve sex: "In my practice I've found that there are many women who feel they don't deserve sex. They view sex as something that is for men, and something that they give to their partners. So they want to be good in bed, meaning that they want to wow their sexual partner. They want to blow his mind. You look at most women magazines and they talk about how to drive him crazy in bed. So we're taught to drive men crazy rather than to drive ourselves crazy. We need to make it wonderful for ourselves and know we deserve it too and that women need it as well for physical and emotional health."
3. Learn about sex: "Who's going to teach you about sex? Sex is so much more than intercourse. So educate yourself about all the various ways of having sex. Learning the techniques, by reading books or watching videos, is important."

To see the rest, read more.