Hamsters

These hamsters with new wheels from Kia show the other hammies how to roll! Wait — even hamsters have to be materialistic and aspirational? Is no one safe from consumerism? Sigh.

Thanks for the send, Fuzzles!

While some hamsters show no interest in their wheels in the first place, others use a love of running to fuel something totally cool. Scientists at Georgia Tech harnessed hamster power by outfitting the small mammals with yellow jackets with electricity-generating threads sewn in. The size of these zinc oxide nanowire threads? One-fiftieth (yes, 5-0) of the width of a human hair!
According to Zhong Lin 'ZL' Wang, the co-author of the paper describing this research:

This can totally be scaled up. This is just the first step. The idea is that we would harvest energy from any body movement, from walking, breathing, from any kind of vibration.

Turns out that a thousand hamsters equipped with the current jacket could charge a cell phone but, eventually, they want to make this technology on a human scale. Imagine running to fuel your own iPod – that's some exercise even I could get behind!

Source

The Samsung Ultratouch Mobile phone claims not only that its product offers something for everyone (including kittens, puppies, bunnies and hamsters), but that its alternate uses are quite varied too (allowing puppies to take self-portraits, hammies to screen movies, and kittens to lounge by the fire). I'd call bullsh*t, but I'm too busy melting into a puddle from the cuteness.

Q: My hamster, Nibbles, doesn't ever seem to want to go on her wheel. I never hear it squeaking at night and I'm constantly watching her during the day, and she hates it. When I try to coax her on, she hops right off – my mice were always on their wheel, what's wrong with this hamster of mine?

A: My first tip would be to test out some new wheels. If you own the plastic or wire version with rungs (or this grid pattern), it could be turning off your hamster – these can be painful for small pets because tiny feet can get stuck between the rungs or in the gaps so some animals will hesitate to hop on. I'd recommend testing out a solid plastic type (such as this one) to see if you have any more success.

If you're not into buying a new wheel, though, create a quick fix by removing the existing wheel and weaving a sheet of paper in and out of the rungs or securely attaching it around the outside, making the surface flat and creating a solid wheel instead.

Lastly, some pets prefer different forms of exercise, just like people – you couldn't catch me on a treadmill! If you feel your furry friend isn't getting enough exercise, try giving her more space to roam or even a Run-About Ball instead.

Disclaimer: This is one of those videos that I tried to edit so that we could just get to the funny part, but alas, there's no way to get to the hilarity without some sobering news first. Basically, a young woman vanished while on lifeguarding duty a few years ago. (Not funny.) While the news anchor discussed the cold case and named a possible suspect, a picture of the suspect so horrid and terrifying came up, I think I may have nightmares. Watch only if you dare.

This is like Dostoevsky's Notes From the Underground, only, with a malcontent hammie rather than a Russian prisoner. Who knew a little ham could be so neurotic? The obsessive running on the hamster wheel makes so much sense now . . . (Thanks for this amazing find, Fuzzles!)