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We all have had bad relationships and wanted to take revenge at some point for being hurt by the one you love. I was eating lunch today and a friend and I were talking about how much we hate cheaters. She told me a story of what she did to her boyfriend when she found out he was cheating. She didn't tell him she knew instead she talked him into getting a tattoo. She chose it so she wrote her name on paper and kissed the paper with heavy lipstick and had that tattooed on him. After it was all finished, which it took a couple visits to finish, she packed her stuff and said look I even kissed your ass good bye. So now he has her name and lips on his butt.

Do y'all have any good stories?

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First off, hello all! I'm so glad there is a Group Therapy group on here because I NEED to vent and would love some input.

A little introduction: I'm a 26-year-old young professional who is in grad school and doing very well for myself. I consider myself successful on all accounts, but am having some issues in the relationship department right now. I'm venting emotionally and without much thought to how this might appear online so if I seem crazy that's why. I'm not crazy, just emotionally maniacal right now.

What I'm really concerned about is my inability to get over my ex. We dated for almost a year in 2010. 2010?! Yes, and I am still obsessing over him. This was a special relationship. The kind that everyone looks at and thinks "man I want that." The kind that everyone was rooting for. We complemented each other so well and had so much fun together. We quickly became best friends and lovers. It felt as if I had finally found "The One".

Just as quickly I figured out that he had an extreme emotional wall up and this caused the relationship to be very push-pull. It was hard, but I always felt that it was worth it. We fought a lot and he continuously made me feel as if the fights were my fault and the emotions were blown out of proportion (what I now realize is a defense mechanism of out-of-touch people). Despite all of this HE told me he loved me, and, after getting a job offer to move far, far away, asked me to move with him.

Keep reading for the rest of the dilemma!

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This is basically what happened: I had been best friends with this guy in high school. I am 21 now and he's 20. In high school he used to tell that he was in love with me and then he decided to join the Air Force because "there was nothing left for him in his home town anymore" after I moved to Philadelphia for college.

To be honest, there was nothing going on between us. We'd have a couple dates while we were in high school, but nothing would happen from there. After he joined the Air Force, I didn't see him for 2 years.

One day he came home for Germany (he's stationed there) and we decided to hang out. As I said, we hadn't seen each other for 2 years and we really haven't spoken to each other either. Well, that night I spilled out to him about how much I loved him and that I loved him while we were in high school. We had sex that night and then the following day, he stopped talking to me. Since he was doing that, I left him alone and he didn't talk to me for 3 months.

Finally, he wrote to me and told me that he wanted me to come to Germany because he needed to tell me something. Unfortunately, I am not able to go to Germany until August because of school. He told me that would not work because he's getting deployed to Saudi Arabia. I also told him that I am moving to graduate school in Portland, Oregon in September and that if he ever comes home that I'll try to make it out to see him. When I told him that he told me that he was not going to go back to his home town to visit because "there was nothing left for him there." That's the second time he told me that. Now he's not talking to me again.

Quite honestly, I don't know what to do with him. I have no idea what's going on with him and I have no idea why he's saying things like "there is nothing left for me there" when his family is still in his home town. He hasn't told me that he cares about me or that he's reciprocating anything. I really have no idea how to respond to him.

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I know that it sounds like I am a harlot, but there are extenuating circumstances. I just found out that I am pregnant. 5 weeks. The father has been my best friend and the love of my life for 13 years. A few years ago he ran off after his parents passed away, and he met this girl. We lost touch for 4 years but have since found each other again. Over the last year we have both struggled with our feelings for each other. He lives 7 hours away but has traveled to see me many times—a few of them to ask me to be with him, and I have done the same.

For one reason or another (entirely other post) it has not come to fruition. It came very close a few weeks ago: he and his girl had broken up "for good" and I was already in town looking for an apartment. We decided to spend a few days at the beach and plan our life together. There was a BIG miscommunication about me attending grad school in another city. He said that he would not stand in the way of my dream and he went back to her.

To make a very long story longer, I am definitely keeping the baby. I have spent years suffering from endometriosis and I was not sure that I could get pregnant. He had offered to be a donor for me a few months ago, but I could not afford the procedure. Then "she" found out. She became pregnant by him 3 years ago and had an abortion without his knowledge. They have not had a good relationship since, and while we really do try to just stay friends, we have an almost fairy-tale romance that keeps throwing us back together.

Right before I learned I was pregnant (last week), in an emotional fit, I told him that I was done with him for good and that I was not going to let him keep going back and forth between me and her, regardless of the reason. He was very hurt, swearing his undying love for me but said that he would not continue to hurt me and if letting go was what I needed he would do it, but that no matter what he would always be in love with me. In response, I told him to get over it and move on like I was. And now I find out I'm having his baby.

How I landed myself in this soap opera I do not know, but I am concerned about telling him before the 12 week "safe" mark. And there is going to be HELL to pay from her—she is already immature about her jealousy even though we never had a physical relationship until a couple of months ago. I'm worried about the stress that it will put on me and the baby—it's already very tough right now starting grad school and having just quit my cushy job to do so.

Anyhow, any advice for an accidental home-wrecker?

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My husband has a friend "John Doe," who hasn't had sex in many years. He is handsome — I think he looks kind of like a young Tom Hanks — and super sweet. He likes seeing romantic movies and miniseries and sometimes watches them with me. He is the most intelligent person I know and has an IQ of something like 180. His problem is that he was abused as a child and has depression. He was 9 the first time he attempted suicide and eventually turned to burning — he calls it "branding" — himself as a coping mechanism to avoid suicide. He doesn't do this stuff anymore, but he still has issues with depression. My husband has asked me if I would be willing to open our marriage to this friend of his. I am so conflicted about this. Here are my pros and cons.

Pros

• "John" is the nicest man I know, and I would love to be with him. If my husband ever dies or leaves me, I would marry him.
• I really think that I can help him with his problems with intimacy and women.
• My husband has talked about doing this for a long time and insists he is OK with the idea of me making love to his friend. He even says that if John and I fall in love he will be OK with it as long as I don't leave him or fall out of love with him — which would never happen.
• The idea of being with two men at the same time who both love me and accept each other is awesome.
• We don't have children, and even though it would tear me to pieces to lose my marriage if things go terribly wrong, everyone that would be involved is a consenting adult.

Cons

• I am really worried that John will be upset with my husband and I if we offer him this — he refuses to even go to strip clubs. I worry about ruining our friendship with him. I know he likes me a lot, but he still might refuse.
• It seems impossible that my husband won't eventually get jealous even if he promises he won't.
• Will I be jealous if John eventually gets another girlfriend? I don't think so, but I might change my mind if I fall in love with him.

I need some advice. What do you think?

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My boyfriend and I have been dating for a year and a half. I really love him and we generally have a great relationship, but definitely with our share of ups and downs. The downs have mainly been due to fears and insecurities I have — it's my first really serious relationship (I'm in my mid-20s and a life long commitment-phobe!), so feeling this vulnerable is overwhelming and scary for me at times.

Since the beginning of our relationship I have always had dreams about my boyfriend that range from neutral (we're out with a bunch of friends but not really talking to each other) to terrible (he's with an ex or I'm cheating on him with someone else). I get the good one on occasion, but it's rare. These dreams really mess with my head. It's terrible when you wake up in the morning and that's the first thing you think about! It can throw me into a funk and get me ruminating on something all day to the point where I pick a fight with him about it later. Really unhealthy behavior. But it also makes me really worry about where these feelings and fears are coming from, and if any of them are legitimate.

I should add that prior to this, I usually didn't have dreams that I remembered. Once a week, maybe. Now it's 3-4 times a week at least. And most focus on him or people I know through him. I was also never the person who had 'great' dreams — no sitting on the beach drinking coronas in my REM cycle! They are always a little bizarre or action packed. Just for background.

So my question is: what does all of this mean? Is this normal? Is there anything I can do to stop it? I'm tired of waking up with a pit in my stomach — some nights I'm hesitant to fall asleep because of this! Thank you.

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I'm not mean, my brother is 22 years old ( I am 27). I'm very happy that he is getting married. His soon to be wife was hidden from the family for the entire time that they (3 years) were together. He just told our family that he was going to get married . . . his soon to be wife is 19 years old and has a five-year-old year and he was scared that we were going to judge him.

My brother and I aren't close, we have had a lot of conflicts over the years and although we have made up and put the past in the past, I still feel as if he resents me for mistreating him when we were kids. He constantly belittles me, and makes fun of me in front of my boyfriend and family, and he puts me down. I'm much older now so I don't stoop to his level.

He doesn't even have my phone number saved and deliberately ignores my texts messages. For Christmas and birthdays he throws money at me and says he wishes he didn't have to get me anything.

I get the fact that he really dislikes me and it hurts a lot. There's not much more then I can do. I would do his college schedule for him as a favor and it's been a while since I graduated, and somehow or another that got messed up. He blamed me and accused me for making his school time period longer but truly I thought the best way was how I was doing it (was the best way). I graduated over five years ago, so it's been a while.

I have even gone to the point of inviting his future wife out but she also shows hostility to me and refuses each offer. He wants me to be in his wedding because my mother said it's important but I feel as if he feels as if he is obligated to have me in his wedding. At this point in time, I'm starting to just forget that he exists to say that I have 2 brothers instead of 3.

I have attempted to talk to him about this and try to make amends but to no avail, the problem just remains. He refuses to talk about things and walks away or leaves the house. I have decided that maybe it's time to just let him go, to just allow him to be who he wants to be. With that, I am contemplating whether or not I should even be in his wedding. I'm really thinking about this thoroughly because I know once I go through with this there is no coming back.

What are your suggestions?

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I'm in a committed relationship with my boyfriend of one year. We live together and recently moved into a new place. Our relationship, like most, started out great. He made me feel like the most special girl and like he only had eyes for me. In turn, I have been 100 percent faithful to him. He spent a month and a half in jail, and I waited for him, even at the beginning of our relationship. I am crazy about him and love him very much.

Of course, we have our troubles, but in recent times, things have gotten worse. His trust for me has diminished for no apparent reason. He will literally, out of nowhere, come at me with crazy accusations of cheating and being unfaithful (talking to guys, "lying" about where I am, etc.) — typical insecure guy behavior. But I've experienced this type of thing time and time again with men and almost every time I have been correct. When a man accuses you of cheating for no good reason, usually he is the one who is guilty. I am fully aware of this, in fact, it has a name: projection. It means, when someone has guilty feelings about something, they put them — in other words, "project" them — onto someone else in order to take the focus off themselves and put it on another. Apparently, this is a definite trait in narcissistic men, and I fear lately that maybe my boyfriend is a narcissist.

I catch him in strange, small lies. I feel he has developed an ego. Like this evening, he left to go to the store. He left his phone on the counter. I've had trust issues with him in the past and have caught him talking inappropriately to other girls before, so I couldn't help myself. I snooped. I'm sure a lot of girls can relate to this — we know it's wrong to snoop, but a women's intuition usually never lies. When we get a feeling something is up, it usually is. So sure enough, I found a text from him to a girl. A name was not saved in his phone, just a number. He said, "Hey babe, forgot to give you the new number, so this is it. It's that sexy guy [his name]."

I automatically got really upset. I have been starting to think things have been better with us, and I felt as though we were moving forward. Turns out I was wrong. Basically, my problem is that I feel it is wrong for a partner to call someone else "babe" or "baby," especially if that is the name they use for their boyfriend or girlfriend, as it is for us. My boyfriend calls me babe; I'm supposed to be his babe. So of course, it was really hurtful to see him say it to someone else. It made me feel like he doesn't only have eyes for me, and I definitely don't feel special anymore.

I confronted him when he got home, and he instantly went into defensive mode. He turned it all around on me and acted like he was mad at me because I snooped. Even though I had found something incriminating on his part, somehow I was still in the wrong. I told him I looked because I had a bad feeling he was hiding something. Obviously he wouldn't want me seeing what he said to the girl. I told him how it made me feel, how it is going to be much harder to trust him, and how it makes me look like a complete fool to this girl who knows he has a girlfriend. He stuck to his guns and he is still acting angry with me. I feel as though he could possibly be a narcissist because I do not feel as though he can ever put himself in my shoes and truly feel compassion or empathy or really understand how his actions negatively affected my emotions.

A few months ago, a guy I worked with texted me and called me babe. My boyfriend flipped, and it took forever for him to let it go and it wasn't even me saying it! He twists everything around to be my fault, no matter if he is in the wrong or not. Most of the time when we argue, he will get mad and threaten to leave or say, "Well, why don't you just break up with me then? I know you want to!" It's hard for me because I really want this to work out, and breaking up is the last thing I want to do. He uses the "I know how you really feel" lines on me and often tries to imply that I don't care. When the truth is, I feel that it is him who doesn't! I care very much and show him often. I really need some advice on how to deal with this type of an issue and this type of a man. Can anyone relate? Please let me know. Any advice is appreciated — thanks.

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I am considering switching to an IUD after years of being on the pill. I am only considering a hormonal method (Mirena), and not the copper IUD. Does anybody have any experience, good or bad, with this form of birth control that they can share?

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I think a lot of women have had this issue at one point or another, but what do you do when you've completely lost your libido?

I've been in a relationship for 5 years. I'm very happy with my partner. I'm attracted to him physically and emotionally. But I just don't have it in me anymore! Sex feels like a chore to me now when I used to love it! It's really great when we manage to get into it, but it's always so hard to start and he always has to initiate because I never feel like it. I feel so bad because he thinks it's his fault, and it's not. Maybe TMI, but honestly, I don't even want to touch myself anymore.

My drive started to drop when I started taking Ortho Tri-Cyclen lo (when I was 18) and 2 months ago I started taking Aviane (I'm 24 now) do you think birth control has anything to do with it? I've only been on Aviane for such a short time. There's been some spotting (again TMI sorry) and that DEFINITELY doesn't make me feel sexy, but I'm told that's normal and will stop eventually . . .

We lived together for most of our relationship, but my boyfriend currently lives in another city (only an hour away) while he takes a 12-month course and would consider it semi-LDR because I can only see him every other weekend due to schedule conflicts (we've been doing this for 6 months so far). Because I don't see him often I WANT to want him. I miss him terribly when we're apart and count down the days till I can see him, so why don't I want sex or even to pleasure myself when he's not home with me? Please help!

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