Girlfriend

Dear Sugar,

A couple months ago I got a friend request from someone on Facebook. I ignored it because I didn't know who it was, but she kept messaging me, pretending to know me. My curiosity got the best of me so I responded, asking who she was. She said that we had never met, but that she is currently dating one of my exes and she wanted to get some information on him.

My ex and I are no longer in contact — things ended very badly after he repeatedly cheated on me. Part of me wants to warn this girl, but the other part of me doesn't want to even talk about him anymore. What should I do? — Wavering Whitney

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Dear Sugar,

Last year I started dating a good friend of mine. We had a great relationship except we had to hide it from everyone. She was out and proud but she was my first girlfriend and I wasn't ready for everyone to know my secret. I started traveling a lot and my girlfriend broke up with me. She immediately started dating a new girl, but when I would come home, we would still get together and no matter how many times she hurt me, I would always go back to her. When we are together it is like none of the bad times ever happened.

Fast forward a few months, we started dating again, but this time rumors started to spread. My parents found out and made me choose between them and her. I chose my family and she was hurt and angry. We got back together and did the make-up/break-up thing for awhile (every time we were off, she went back to her ex). Everything was going great, and I was planning on telling my parents the truth, but they ended up finding out we were back through her blog. They learned that I had lied to them for months — they already don't like her, but now they can't stand her.

In an attempt to stay connected with my parents, I stopped seeing her. I have tried to completely cut her out of my life, but we are involved in a lot of the same things — we play on the same team and have the same friends. Even though she is back together with her ex, I still love her. I want to have a chance to be with her and forget about everything else. I can't help but feel that if I don't give it one fair chance then I will forever wonder what would have happened, but at the same time, I don't want to lose my parents. Please help.

— Torn in Two Taryn

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Dear Sugar,

I've known this guy for about two years now. At first, he was very interested but I had just gotten out of a relationship and wasn't completely over the breakup. We had made a few dates but I always stood him up. I guess I just wasn't ready. Three months ago, I ran into him. We had lunch and a great time hanging out. There was amazing chemistry but — he has a girlfriend!

For the past three months we've still been hanging out, kind of a friends-with-benefits thing, but I'm falling for him and he's falling for me. He's never said he wants to leave her for me, but I'm crazy about him and really want to be together. What should I do?

—Falling in Love Laura

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This week's holiday gift guides are dedicated to your fabulous girlfriends! To make shopping easier for you, I have selected five different beauty styles and will choose products for your BFFs according to their type. Today's girlfriend is the glamor girl—you know, the one who follows Hollywood hair and makeup ideas as well as red-carpet trends. I'm sure you have some great ideas of your own, so be sure and leave a comment so that you can share them with the rest of us.

A friend of mine is dating a 32-year-old man with two roommates. She lives alone, but 20 minutes outside the city so whenever they go out, she reluctantly spends the night at his place. She has complained to me on numerous occasions that their place resembles a frat house, it's always loud, people come and go at all hours of the day, and she has to worry about being walked in on while she's going to the bathroom.

While I know it's expensive to live in the big city, what I want to know is, how old is too old for a man to have a roommate? Is it a turn off for a grown man to share a bathroom and kitchen with someone else besides his girlfriend?

Source

Dear Sugar--

My former best friend and her then-boyfriend set me up with my current boyfriend of over a year. They have since broken up, and she is now hinting that I should break up with my boyfriend, "so we can be there for each other again."

To be honest, I would rather break up with her! I've been trying to distance myself over the past several months due to fights we've had and severe differences of opinion. She's always thought of us as "sisters," being an only child whom the world revolved around. I already have one actual sister, and that's enough for me.

She somehow thinks that my boyfriend is the one who's come between us, and doesn't realize that she's the one instead. She's one of those who can be infinitely critical of everyone else, but freaks out as soon as someone calls her out on it and turns the tables, taking things much too seriously. She's also afraid of change--I have moved to a larger city and am beginning my career, while she still lives in our old college town.

So should I just ignore her childish whining, as I have for years, or should I say something to her about it? What should I say? I'm terrible at confrontation. I always knew she was going to try to hint about this matter, but I'm amazed it took her this long. I wonder if it's even worth the effort. The only contact we've had in months is a couple of messages on MySpace. I'm just so angry that she would actually dare to go there, you know?

Thanks for any and all help.

--Tired-of-Dealing Denise

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