Engagement

Starting a life as husband and wife is an exhilarating time — the celebrating, the planning, and of course the gifts! But what if you and your fiancé are on different pages? Check out the answer in this special wedding season Ask Savvy question, which will be answered by SavvySugar and a very savvy bride. Submit your questions in our Ask Savvy group.

Dear Savvy,

I am newly engaged and thrilled to start the planning process. My Maid of Honor has generously offered to throw us an engagement party to kick off the celebration and I'm beyond excited to register for gifts. Unfortunately, my fiancé quickly threw a wrench in the equation — he doesn't think we need to register! In his mind, we have everything that we need and thinks it's ridiculous to ask people to spend money on us. As someone who has "always been a bridesmaid, never the bride," I've been looking forward to having my time in the spotlight and picking out each and every wedding gift with care — there are still certain things we are missing in order to start our life together as husband and wife. How can I convince him that we're not being greedy by registering for wedding gifts?

I Want My Registry Regina

To see what a savvy bride has to say about this, keep reading after the jump.

This week's confession comes from our anonymous Confession Booth group in the TrèsSugar Community. Weigh in with your advice below.

We've been dating for the past one and a half year and sometime back he just blurted out on the phone that he wants to marry me . . . though I did not like the way he did it, I said yes because I do love him. Later I did give him hints that I love romantic proposals (I think every girl deserves one . . . been dreaming about it since I was a kid). But he keeps going down on one knee every time we meet. It's become like a routine thing to do, and we have a long distance relationship now and he does ask often. Don't know what to do. I told him that you only propose once properly, cried over it. I may be overreacting, but whenever I think about it, I get all choked up. I told him on face that little gestures make me happy. I don't want a fancy over the top proposal, but a simple romantic one. And he's like tell me what you want and I'll do it exactly. That pissed me off. I cried and also told him that he ruined the surprise element of a proposal. I am just upset that I am never going to have a good proposal. Plus he did not do anything for our first anniversary either.

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You’ve said yes, slipped on the ring, and called your family and best friends to share the news. But come Monday morning, it’s time to tell the people you spend 40-plus hours a week with about your newly-engaged status.

Sharing the news with your closest work buddies is a no-brainer; they’ll be excited for you, and may even be invited to the wedding. But even co-workers you’re not close to will need to know at least the bare minimum about your impending nuptials. Getting married involves taking time off, leaving during the day for fittings and appointments, and often changing your name and address — all developments your co-workers and boss should be aware of.

• The size of your office: In a smaller office, it’s important that you fill everyone in on your news right away. If you only work with 10 people, and two of them find out a day later than everyone else, count on some hurt feelings.
• Your work environment: Is your office a small, tightly knit group that you regularly have drinks with after hours? Or a more formal, professional team that rarely discusses personal info? Let the vibe at work determine how you decide to announce your news.
• Any not-yet-engaged gals on your team: You shouldn’t pretend your engagement is no biggie just because your co-worker’s BF hasn’t popped the question yet. But if she’s been complaining for months about wishing he would just DO it already, you’ll want to be sensitive — make sure your excitement doesn’t turn into gloating or smugness.
• The length of your engagement: If you’re in for a quick engagement and your wedding date is already fast approaching, you’ll need to let your co-workers know ASAP. If your big day is a year or two away, it may be OK to take your time filling in more peripheral co-workers.
• How big of an impact the wedding will have on your job: Are you the manager of a large team, elbow-deep in a big project, or responsible for tasks no one else can do? If so, you might even want to consider giving your co-workers a rough time line for when you’ll be out, and keep them abreast of any time off you’ll be taking for appointments.