Dating

We're happy to present this excerpt from one of our favorite sites, YourTango. Skip the usual dinner date and try these fun ideas fit for a foursome.

Sure, you look forward to date night with your significant other, but why not tag along with another couple? Double dates mean double the excitement, fun, and romance. (As long as it's not another dinner party. That's so . . . well . . . bleh.)

Here are some date ideas fit for a foursome:

Treasure Hunt at a Flea Market
Especially in the Summer when the weather is warm, flea markets are a great way to spend a lazy Sunday afternoon. Split $50 evenly between the four of you. The challenge? Scavenge through boxes and bags for hidden vintage treasures. See which couple can come up with the kookiest, wackiest find.

Tag Team on Game Night
Game night was made for double-dating couples! Invite another couple over for a laid-back hang out of playing board games, charades, or if you're feeling a little risqué, strip poker. To break the ice, start out with a game of 20 Questions — whether you've been together for 20 years or two months, there's always something new to learn about each other. Tag team with your SO on a multiplayer video game like Wii Olympics or Super Mario Brothers — they're fun and totally free.

Go Miniature Golfing
Even if you aren't pros, you can still tee off at the golf course (the mini golf course, that is). Sure, it's a tad cheesy (anyone having high school flashbacks?), but that's the fun of it! To make it feel more grown-up, make the losing couple buy a round of drinks.

For five more foursome date spots, head to YourTango: Eight Double Date Ideas.

Check out these other great stories from YourTango:

• What Are the Biggest Challenges of Remarriage?
• Six Ways Sex Makes You More Attractive
• What He Worries About Before His First Date With You

If a friend or co-worker is into you and you don't feel the same, it can be more than a little awkward to let him down. Whether he's a lifelong pal, an acquaintance you'll be seeing around, or a guy who works just a few cubicles away, that common ground can make turning him down feel impossible. Still, that's no reason to pretend you're into him just because it's easier. Instead, follow these tips to say no under even the trickiest of circumstances:

• Evaluate the relationship. Before you reject any date offers, take the time to step back and consider your approach. If you're feeling 50/50 on whether or not you're interested, think about what you'd gain or lose by giving him a shot. Is it worth going on a date to see if sparks fly? Would he feel better if you at least gave it a chance? Or is he the type who'd rather not go through the motions if you know you're not into it?
• Don't dillydally. It's never polite to wait days before responding, but it's especially rude when you've been asked out by someone you already know. No matter what kind of news you'll be passing along, be respectful and make a point to reply the same day.
• Pick the right medium to communicate. If it's a friend who's casually texted to ask you out, it's perfectly fine to text him your response. Dealing with a co-worker? Don't IM him from 20 feet away. Instead, muster the courage to say something face-to-face — he'll appreciate that you were up front with him, and you'll avoid the awkwardness of seeing him just after you've messaged him with a refusal.
• Set the postrejection tone. Chances are, he's going to feel a bit blue after you've turned him down, so it's on you to establish a normal, easygoing vibe. Smile and make small talk, but don't go overboard and shower him with attention, because that'll only rub salt in the wound. People tend to mimic the way they're treated, so do your best to treat him like a friendly acquaintance and hopefully, eventually, he'll be able to rise to the occasion himself.

This question is from a Group Therapy post in our community. Add your advice in the comments!

I've spent quite a bit of time (alone and with others) with a guy over the last few months and met some of his friends and family. I'm not completely sure how I feel about him, but I think I may be more interested in him than I'm willing to admit to myself. Last night, we had plans to hang out, alone, although we hadn't decided what to do yet. We set this up four days in advance. The day before, he asked if I wanted to go to dinner with his friend who was visiting. I said OK, but I was a little hurt, I guess because I was looking forward to spending time alone with him. Should I have been hurt? I ended up not going because I was also upset that he didn't offer to pick me up. This actually made me really upset. Should I be upset? Should I tell him that I was upset with him?

Have a dilemma of your own? Post it anonymously in Group Therapy for advice.

This question is from a Group Therapy post in our community. Add your advice in the comments!

My boyfriend and I broke up a while back, but I never distanced myself from. It's still pretty fresh, but I am moving on and I'm trying to get over him. Right now I love and hate him at the same time. Possible? There are nights I miss him so much, and I know that if I call he'll talk, but coldly. He'll say, "Please don't say 'I miss you," I don't want to be in all of that again, I want to concentrate on college."

Still there are times when I just want to scream at him for disrespecting me, lying to me. Why do I want to communicate this to him when I know it won't affect him? When I know there's no point? I want to stop this. I have a chance because I don't have to see him every day in class anymore, but we've been closer for years and it is so hard. I see people moving on so fast, from one guy to another, and I wonder — am I lacking somewhere?

I was also very wrong somewhere in this relationship. He was too. And we stretched it so much that we weren't even able to salvage a friendship out of it. Neither of us gets close to people very easily, so maybe that's why we held on to each other. It's hard to imagine myself without him, and I am trying. He hopes that we remain friends for now, ending on a positive note so that when we're able to get over whatever happened, we can come back as newer, better people and end up together.

But still, I don't know if I should trust him. I don't trust him. I want guys to ask me out, but I feel scared. I feel like I'm cheating, and I feel no attraction at all. I lost my self-respect and the way I sacrificed everything and clung to him was so needy. All I want is that back — to look in the mirror and feel so good, to have him see me as the girl I was and respect me. I know I can't force anyone, but it gives me a lot of anguish to imagine our story ending up in such a bad state.

Have a dilemma of your own? Post it anonymously in Group Therapy for advice.

This question is from a Group Therapy post in our community. Add your advice in the comments!

So here we go. Let's keep it simple. I have a wonderful, kind, and caring boyfriend. We will be together two years at the end of this month. Here is the problem: While I have never caught him cheating on me, when we first started dating (like two months in) I caught him sending messages back and forth with his ex-girlfriend and some other girls, and I wasn't too happy with the content. We spoke about it, and he stopped.

So, he hasn't done anything like that in a LONG time (I've checked up on him), but recently I was at his apartment before he got home and went to use his computer to log into my gmail. Well, when I typed in "gmail" it automatically opened his account because he was still signed in, and the first thing I saw was a message from his ex-girlfriend. Of course, I read it. (You would, too.) There was only one message each way. It was one to her saying that she was in his dream, asking her how she was, how her son was, etc. Also that she has a new hairdo. The message back to him was, kid is doing great, life is good, my new hairdo is awesome blah blah.

Here's where the problem lies. I know that the message is innocent. But he has told me time and time again that he doesn't talk to his exes because it's a waste of time. This girl was his "first love" in college and it ended terribly and he was totally head over heels in love with her. He doesn't think that I should talk to my ex-boyfriend (who is struggling with a drug addiction so he messages me every once in a while to ask for forgiveness, part of the 12 steps), but it's OK for him to message her and tell her that he had a dream about her? I don't want to bring this up because I don't want him to think I was snooping (I really wasn't . . . he shouldn't leave things logged in), but now I am feeling insecure. Any tips?

Have a dilemma of your own? Post it anonymously in Group Therapy for advice.

This question is from a Group Therapy post in our community. Add your advice in the comments!

I've been spending more time, and even flirting more, with a classmate. I'm almost 100 percent sure he's at least interested in dating me, although we haven't been on an official date yet. In a conversation a few weeks ago, it seemed like he was trying to express that he was unsure about classmates dating, likening it to workplace romances. Does that mean nothing is ever going to happen between us? We still have three more years of grad school together, and I'm wondering if I have a chance.

Have a dilemma of your own? Post it anonymously in Group Therapy for advice.