Chuck Norris

Finally! The truth about our beloved ass-kicking American ninja extraordinaire, Chuck Norris, otherwise known as "the world's greatest human." (I find it hard to believe, though, that The Truth About Chuck Norris was on the New York Times best-seller list. Although I guess stranger things have happened. Like, say, the success of The Hills or Paris Hilton.)

• Gwyneth Paltrow is rumored to be avoiding spending time with husband Chris Martin, because the two are having marriage trouble. — Page Six
• Diane Sawyer's interview with Ashley Dupre about her affair with former NY Governor Eliot Spitzer will air this Friday on 20/20. — CitizenSugar
• Chuck Norris wrote a heated article about all of the Proposition 8 protesters, saying they have resorted to "anarchy" in response to a law that is protecting the "boundaries of marriage." — Town Hall
• Kelly Osbourne is engaged to her boyfriend of six months, Luke Worrall, according to his Facebook page. — The Cut
• Joaquin Phoenix is filming a documentary about his transition from acting to music now that he has decided to retire. — E! Online
• Hannah Montana star Cody Linley was kicked off of Dancing With the Stars last night, leaving three teams to compete in next week's finale. — AP
• Tyrese denied recent rumors that he is dating Brandy, saying she is his best friend and that would be like "dating his sister." — Us Weekly

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If you never got sick of the Chuck Norris Internet meme that was everywhere a couple years ago (you know, "Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door"), then you're due to enjoy the Chuck Norris dashboard widget.

It's free and for Macs only (apparently Chuck Norris hates Windows and Linux, so those versions don't exist. Just kidding. I think).

He's there to tell you that Chuck Norris can punch with a fist concealed in his beard, and that he can kill two stones with one bird, so best just to download the widget and then step away and let it be.

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They may not look exactly alike, but Chuck Norris and Danny Bonaduce could pass as fraternal twins. Stretch Danny's face down a little, so all the features are elongated, and the resemblance is uncanny! (Or perhaps the air of desperation surrounding each looks identical?)

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Mike Huckabee: "My plan to secure the borders? Two words. Chuck. Norris."

Enjoy this silliness!