Childhood

The science of happiness can seem like a cruel joke. Most studies tell us who is happier — 54-year-olds, West Coasters, or people with sisters — rather than how to be happier. And tangible advice usually oversimplifies life and states the obvious. But psychotherapist Philippa Perry's advice in today's Guardian on how to rewire our brains sounds like it could actually work.

It's not easy, or even foolproof, but that's why I actually believe it. She acknowledges happiness levels are mainly set in the first two years of life, when our brains form neural connections that determine how we regulate emotions. Less-than-ideal parents can put you off the beaten path to contentment, and any later trauma can undo the good done early on.

Regardless of the cause, chronic unhappiness is no way to live, but the brain is quite pliable and it's not too late to rewire it. Find out how below.

I was as zealous of a back-to-schooler as kids came. I started dreaming of it in July — new clothes, new books, new people. Possibilities abound, and I never knew whom I'd sit next to. Except, I sort of did as alphabetical order was nearly always in effect.

Even the years when I wore a uniform, I loved lying the freshly pressed outfit out the night before and packing my bag with all-new supplies. And there were always new shoes! What was your favorite part of heading back to class?

I once posed this question to my parents, expecting a why-would-you-ask-that answer. But they surprised me, in unison, with an emphatic answer: pensive. "Really?" I was about to ask, but then my mom added, "and you loved it when we said 'pensive.'" Apparently I knew they were talking about me, so pensive was a word I loved before I could read. What have you heard about little you?

Source: Flickr User Stuck in Customs

A friend told me last night that every year of her childhood, her family went to Toronto for vacation. For some reason, Toronto as a vacation spot surprised me, but then she said it was a city where her parents spent a lot of time before they had kids. They loved it and wanted their children to love it, too. "Well do you love it?" I asked, waiting for a no. "I do! I love Toronto."

And with that my entire concept of family vacations changed. Every Summer, except for one crazy one in Niagara Falls, my family went to the same beach in the same town on the same street. And while I have fond memories of my parents letting me eat/drink/have whatever I wanted for that one week, I also remember being restless and bored, wanting to explore while my parents wanted to relax. While I wouldn't turn down a (free) trip back today, I am not nostalgic for those beached days. I'd rather go to a city, like Toronto.

What about you?

Source: Flickr User Madmonk

Last week when we discussed the assumption that a mother should get the children when a couple splits, a few of you mentioned your own experiences dealing with divorce.

I've known some people who were really troubled by their parents' breakup, and others who said it was the best thing that ever happened to their family. If your parents divorced, how did it affect you?