Prepare your Dancing With the Stars ballots, because the cast of season 16 is here. As usual, the floor will be filled with reality stars doing the merengue, waltzing country crooners, and football players perfecting the salsa. The new season premieres March 18, but until then, check out the show's 12 new contestants — including new addition The Bachelor Sean Lowe! — and weigh in on who you're already rooting for!
These two douches aren't exactly a girl's best friend. The almost unrecognizable Andy Dick was recently arrested outside a Buffalo Wild Wings restaurant in a Murrieta, CA, parking lot for groping a 17-year-old girl's breasts, and Joe Francis of Girls Gone Wild infamy likes to get girls drunk and then film them stripping and making fools of themselves. This might be the hardest one, people, so I'll try to make it as easy as possible. Which one of these losers would you kiss if you had to . . . ?
Fighting and tabloid feuding are so passé. Celebs are now going public with their love for each other. Last week, we heard Adam Sandler give his "Ode to Bob Barker" and now Andy Dick's stepped forward with a soulful, acoustic (John Mayer inspired?) performance titled, "Jessica." It all sounds heartfelt and genuine until Andy mentions her boobs and then sings about peeing all over himself. It's not quite "Your Body Is A Wonderland", but it's a good try.
Who was responsible for TomKat's wedding arrangements? Andy "Pressure Is My Middle Name" Dick, of course! He's no ordinary wedding planner, but more of a "matrimagician" and for that reason, Tom "Galactic Space God" Cruise hired him to plan an out of this world occasion. Luckily, Andy snorts enough airplane glue to send him beyond the moon and back, so he didn't disappoint. Or did he?
Andy Dick is an unsung comic genius. And, no, I'm not kidding. Is it just because he keeps getting into trouble for doing stupid things that he doesn't really have a career? Anyway, here he is over 10 years ago on the short-lived Ben Stiller Show playing Jacques Cousteau. He's had a few too many glasses of red wine, and is pissing off the film crew because they can't even get him to do a voice-over about a manatee without crying or talking about his sad love-life. Their final edit of his voice is awesome.
Mad TV spoofed VH1's Best Week Ever by altering the concept and title just a tiny bit-- not a whole lot. And duuude...they gave us the best quote ever: "I've got Franken-nipple!" Give you one guess who that line belongs to: she's been to Taradise and back, and her last name rhymes with-- that's right-- weed.
After last night's State of the Union address, we thought it only appropriate to bring the Presidential Speechalist to your attention. Fact or Fiction? You decide.
Cute Carmen hosted the Gridlock New Year's Eve 2007 event the other night with Andy Dick in Hollywood. The single lady didn't look at all sad to be spending her NYE without a man, and even had someone in mind for a new year's kiss. When asked who her midnight kiss would come from she said, "Um...I don't know, maybe my hairdresser?" We know how much Hollywood starlets love their BFF hairdressers. Besides, kissing him had to be a better option than Andy Dick.
More of Carmen walking the red carpet and Andy Dick trying to get a kiss from Carmen so read more
