Is it about the evolution of the law or the evolution of marriage? A Michigan man faces up to five years in prison for hacking into his wife's Gmail account to confirm his suspicions that the woman was having an affair. Leon Walker logged into Clara's email account using the password she kept next to their computer. Since many spouses share a laptop, iPad, or iPhone, it's not uncommon that both parties have access to each other's social networking accounts. Do you peek on your partner out of curiosity?
So, I'm visiting a friend abroad, and her husband and I met once and chatted online once but the conversation always turns into flirting. I'm not really sure if he's telling the truth or just playing. How do I know if he's just playing or he's serious?
When I mentioned that "I'm excited to go to Spain because of the Spaniards" he said "Spaniards, how about me?" I laughed it off. He told his wife that upon meeting me once he found me really attractive and sexy and that if he weren't married he would definitely take me out.
The thing is, I'm also attracted to him but we're both married. We are joking that we should do something when I get there, now is he still playing or is he serious? What to do?
After nine years of matching couples in adulterous bliss, AshleyMadison.com has accumulated enough info to be crunched into a study about what people look for in affairs.
The initial finding is as trite as a midlife crisis: men will take pretty much any sex they can get, while women are choosy. What exactly are women holding out for in a second home of a relationship?
- A part-time commitment: When creating a profile at AshleyMadison, would-be cheaters choose what type of relationship they're looking for. Options range from anything goes, cyber affair/erotic chat, and whatever excites me, to short term, long term, and undecided. Women chose "long term" two-thirds more often, while men chose "anything goes."
- Their satisfaction first: While younger, single women (the average female age in this study was 39) may be concerned with being the perfect girlfriend, women looking for affairs are consumed with their own desires. They went into far greater detail when describing the physical attributes, wealth, educational achievements, and athleticism of potential partners than when they described themselves.
- Style over substance: Women already in relationships used significantly more adjectives to describe an ideal partner's physical attributes than material considerations. Probably because finances and intellect matter less in a affair?
This really just confirms what we all could have guessed, but thank goodness for adultery sites to quantify it!
- Here's why I slept with your husband — The Frisky
- Stress makes men attracted to different types of women — Lemondrop
- Apology for wearing sweats on first date, getting high before meeting parents — The Awl
- 15 most notorious Hollywood womanizers — PopCrunch
- Accessory suggestions for Mad Men Barbies (flasks, Don’s secret box) — Flavorwire
- What it's like to play a plus-size love interest — Jezebel
- 10 unlikely movie couples — BuzzSugar
Weigh in and tell us if you forgive or not forgive this True Confession.
"I'm having an emotional affair with an old boyfriend. We're not even in the same state, but online dirty talk has done wonders for my self-esteem, and my darling husband is benefiting too. Since we haven't been physical, and I technically haven't 'cheated,' can I continue this relationship?"
I had a nine-month affair with a married man when I was 19 years old and he was 29. This was five years ago. After the truth came out, I told everyone I had no idea he was married, but truth was I knew the whole time; I was just too selfish to end it. I feel sorry for the pain I caused his wife, but can I be forgiven for being so naive?
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Yesterday it was announced that bad-boy, celebrity chef Gordon Ramsay is apparently having an affair. The racy details reveal that the chef has been secretly sleeping with professional mistress and Having An Affair? A Handbook For The Other Woman author Sarah Symonds for the past seven years. Although he's known in the states for his foul-mouthed, angry kitchen tirades, across the pond, Ramsay's an established family man with a devoted wife and four young children.
Neither Ramsay nor Symonds have commented on the allegations, but in her book, Symonds describes an affair with a high-profile, incredibly well known chef. While I found the news surprising it didn't exactly shock me. I've never really considered Ramsay to be the devoted husband type. What do you think about the possible affair?
I have been married for 11 years, and my husband admitted to me three weeks ago that he's been sleeping with a girl that he worked with. I am hurt and very upset and don't know if I can trust him again. I gave him a ultimatum and he chose me, but I have a gut feeling that they are still in contact with each other. I check his phone to see if they talk, but he always deletes his call history. I don't know if I should end my marriage. When he told me about them sleeping together, he said he deeply regretted it and would never do it again. He also told me that it only happened once, but I don't believe him.
We've been together for 16 years and have two grown kids together. I just don't know what to do. Should I confront the other woman or just leave things alone? I've suggested seeing a marriage counselor, but he refuses. I don't know where to go from here. — Desperate Dede
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DearSugar and Level Headed Heather need your help. Her husband had an affair, got the other woman pregnant, and they are now trying to decide how to tell their 6-year-old daughter about her half-brother. Do you have any advice?
I have a 6-year-old daughter and a 4-month-old son. My husband has been having an affair for several years and he came clean while I was pregnant with our youngest. He told me because the woman who he is having the affair with was also pregnant, due two months after me. I know this is crazy but I am coping with it. My husband and I are getting a divorce. He is still with the other woman. He wants to have a relationship with our two children and I want him to as well, for our children's sake — it's not the kids' fault this happened.
The problem is that he wants our children to know their other brother, but he doesn't know how to talk to our daughter about this. He and I are remaining civil toward each other and I want to help him talk to our kids, but I really don't have any clue how to broach this subject. Although he sounds like a horrible guy, he really is a good father. Please help and give me some suggestions so that I can help him explain this to our 6-year-old. — Level Headed Heather
Help! I have been with my husband for 13 years and will be married 11 in November. To make this as short as possible, I've lived in a sexless, loveless relationship for 12 years. Last November I met someone wonderful and decided to tell my husband I was done. We separated for four months and I stopped seeing my "friend" for a while to get my head together. My husband immersed himself in therapy and told me he could not lose me, that he loved me and would do whatever had to be done to keep us together. I moved back home in May but I still don't feel passion toward him. I love him, but am still very hurt and angry. He supposedly suffers from intimacy issues, fear of failure, etc., and although he is working very hard to be in my heart, our sex life is not good, in fact, it's horrible. He makes no effort to please me at all. After not having any for months, he accused me the other day of not wanting him.
I know he loves me in his very own way, but I am not sure I can ever be happy with this man. So many people tell me what a great guy he is and that I should stay with him. He is a great provider and very good in other ways so my question is do I work my butt off to save my marriage, or call it a day? I need some advice please. — Unhappy Helena
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