Photo copyright 2010 ABC, Inc.
Photo copyright 2010 ABC, Inc.
Pregnancy often brings clumsiness along with it. I try my best to avoid precarious situations, but sometimes my body does its own thing. While flats typically make my legs look short and stubby, they usually afford me a level of comfort and agility.
The other day I sported a new pair of bright blue ballet flats to work and was feeling quite agile for a woman entering her last trimester. As I made my way down the San Francisco hills, I stepped on the smooth surface of an electrical cover and completely ate it. Both feet flew out from under me leaving my tush and hands to break the fall. Humiliated of course, I slowly pulled myself together and gingerly walked the rest of the way to the bus stop. Luckily, I got a seat and was able to lick my wounds.
I refuse to wear sneakers with a dress, but I'm not sure what other footwear would work if my flats aren't doing the trick. Combat boots?
Let's face it, kids have lots of fluids and well, sometimes they end up all over the floor. While the incidents can be funny in retrospect, they usually aren't while occurring. My husband packed our infant daughter in the Baby Bjorn and stopped in an upscale art gallery to take a peek at their pieces. The sales clerks cooed over our child until she projectile vomited all over the shop. Mortified, her daddy apologized profusely to the staffers who were awed by her action.
My son's moment came last Christmas while I was carting the kids through the rain and into the mall only to notice he had an accident that soiled ALL of his clothing. I couldn't put my baby back in the car, so I headed to Target's restroom where I had no choice but to strip him down, wipe the mess up as best as I could and then rinse him off in the sink. Once he was clean, I put him in a fresh diaper, strapped him in the stroller and dressed him in a new outfit I bought at the store. Then, we finished our holiday shopping.
When kiddie accidents happen, parents have to grin and bear it — what was yours?
If your kids aren't in the car, make sure you designate a spot in front of the garage or driveway where they should stand when a vehicle approaches. While growing up, it was an automatic for my siblings and me to wait on the landing in our garage when a car was pulling in or out. And today with more and more parents driving SUVs, the likelihood of a tot getting stuck in a blindspot increases.
As protective parents, we should take note of Christian singer Steven Curtis Chapman's recent tragedy. His 5-year-old daughter, Maria was killed this week when his teenage son accidentally hit the child while driving outside their home. I make a habit of having my kids hop in the car anytime my husband or I pull out of the driveway regardless of whether or not they are coming on the excursion. It takes a few extra minutes to buckle them in, but grants piece of mind.
Does your family have a car safety plan?
In a strange, but true tale, GQ UK's Chef of the Year, Gordon Ramsay, has burned his man-bits. In what can only be described as his own personal kitchen nightmare, Ramsay stood a little too close to the stove and burned himself.
"The other day I was standing too close to the stove when I was cooking. I was wearing these cotton trousers and underneath I was going commando, suddenly, I felt this searing heat. I went, 'F**k me, bollocks to that."
Once the accident happened, he was rushed to London's private Cromwell Hospital where an ultrasound was performed. His right testicle was burned and Ramsay was said to be in "absolute agony."
In other news, Ramsay will be expanding his dining empire by adding ten more pubs to his collection.
When are auto accidents amusing? When the driver responsible fills out an insurance claim form and attempts to condense, evade, or embellish the facts a bit. That's when the truth spins out of control and the retelling gets funny:
But when caught on camera, they lose their "accidental" status and become hilariously purposeful. That is, so we can re-watch them and laugh all over again. And again. And again.