Here's a post from OnSugar blog Rules to Live By.

1. Lay out everything on date one: what I'm looking for, and where I want to be.
2. No sex unless I hear the words "I love you."
3. Kissing is OK, but fondling isn't.
4. No communication for more than 2 weeks; it's over.
5. Flirting is what I love to do . . . Doesn't always leads to sex.
6. Acceptance is the key and must be honest.
7. Never talk about my exes.
8. Even if a date may not turn into relationship, encourage the idea of friendship.
9. Demand to be treated with respect.
10. Remind them to step up or ship out.

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Here's a post from OnSugar blog My DISFunkshion.

Do you treat yourself as well as you treat your friends and family? A growing area of psychological research called self-compassion suggests that giving our selves a break and accepting our imperfections can lead to better health and can help beat depression and anxiety. It turns out, people who find it easy to be supportive and understanding of others tend to score quite low on self-compassion tests, putting themselves down for their own perceived failures like being over weight and not exercising.

Self-compassion is not to be confused with self-indulgence, notes Kristin Neff, a pioneer in the field. It may seem obvious to be kind to yourself, but Neff, an associate professor of human development at the University of Texas at Austin, told The New York Times, “[People] believe self-criticism is what keeps them in line. Most people have gotten it wrong because our culture says being hard on yourself is the way to be.” She uses the example of a parent whose child is doing poorly in school. Most parents would offer support, such as a tutor. But when adults find themselves in a similar situation — struggling at work or eating too much junk food--they fall into a cycle of negativity and self-criticism. “The problem is that it’s hard to unlearn habits of a lifetime,” Neff said. “People have to actively and consciously develop the habit of self-compassion.”

Could self-compassion lead to life-satisfaction? Try turning around your thinking of self-deprecation and deprivation and imagine how you would treat a small child who loved very much. How would you support them and help them feel better and be healthier? How can you be kind to yourself in this moment?

Want to see more? Start following My DISFunkshion or start your own OnSugar blog. Maybe your stories will be posted here on TrèsSugar!

Here's a post from OnSugar blog My DISFunkshion.

This is just sad, sad, sad.

According to a survey conducted by the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force and the National Center for Transgender Equality, 41 percent of transgendered people have attempted to end their lives. What's the national suicide attempt average? A paltry (in comparison) 1.6 percent.

The survey reports that, in general, trans people have experienced overwhelming amounts of discrimination due to their gender identification. 47 percent say that they have been fired, not hired, or not promoted for jobs because of their identification, while 29 percent report being mistreated by police. For those who identified as trans in their adolescence (up through twelfth grade), 78 percent report that they faced harassment at school. It's even more depressing that the harassment doesn't seem to get much better post-high school.

In the wake of the media flurry a few months ago surrounding the suicides of various gay teens, I think we may have forgotten that transgendered people also face this problem to a striking degree, with their own set of associated problems. And maybe this Valentine's Day, we can all cast a little love in that direction.

Want to see more? Start following My DISFunkshion or start your own OnSugar blog. Maybe your stories will be posted here on TrèsSugar!

Here's a post from OnSugar blog My DISFunkshion.

Remember that saying, "first the worst, second the best..." — just how true is that when it comes to our love lives?

It's not always a good thing to have a particular type because effectively you're shunning a large percentage of men who might be perfectly suitable. But the reality of this is that some women — myself included — are picky. Not in a "I know I can get any man so I get the liberty of choosing and dismissing" way, but more of a "I know what I like, so why sacrifice that?"

Some may call me shallow for admitting this, but physical appearance is important to me just as much as personality. There's no 30/70 or 40/60. It's 50/50 straight down the middle.

There are times when females will be in a situation where a guy comes along with a personality that you click with, but only on a friendship level. You're not exactly attracted physically, so should you write him off? Or pursue something with the hope that you'll eventually find an attraction? I think we all know what I always do.

Read the rest after the jump!

Here's a post from OnSugar blog My DISFunkshion.

It's very easy to assume the qualities that make a man or woman marriage material. Characteristics such as trust, understanding and a good personality might be on the top of our lists but when it boils down to it, it seems that there are very different traits to look out for.

For the ladies:

According to ehow.com, you should look for elements of sensitivity and reliability. If he's attentive and displays thoughtful gestures, then he's worth considering as he has a natural caring nature.

Is he a hard worker? If he strikes a balance between working hard and enjoying time out, then you have someone whose "hard work is often motivated by the drive to build a foundation for, and ultimately help to provide for, a family."

A classic indicator is if he looks to the future with you in mind. Discussing the long-term future is a big deal in itself so if he keeps you in mind along the way, it is a definite thumbs up.

To see what My DISFunkshion thinks men look out for, keep reading the post. Want to see more? Start following My DISFunkshion or start your own OnSugar blog. Maybe your stories will be posted here on TrèsSugar!

Here's a post from OnSugar blog Perpetually Single.

Gentle readers, have you ever found yourself playing email tag with an awesomely awesome person online for days, and then weeks, and then . . . nothing? They pretty much fall off the face of the earth as far you're concerned?

Well, recently, well, really a few weeks ago, I found myself in a similar situation. Except, the email tagging lasted for one night, for we then switched to Gmail chat, and then the phone — all in the same evening. In fact, we found ourselves talking on the phone for an average of two hours nightly for about three weeks. And then . . . nothing.

The nothingness followed shortly after my inquiries of actually meeting in person. Because that's how the process works, right? You talk — feel one another out to see if you even feel like being bothered by this person, and if you do, you make plans to meet for coffee or drinks or something similar. Well, that's how it's supposed to, but lately, I, like others, have found that this may not be the intention of some people.

Then what is? Read the rest on Perpetually Single.

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Here's a post from OnSugar blog Glittarazzi.

I received an email last night from someone that claims to have a tantric massage company in Old Town, Alexandria, Va.:

"A good friend of yours (she asked to remain anonymous, for now) has paid for you to receive a full body tantric massage during a tantra session with me in Old Town Alexandria.

Tantra sessions are very soothing, relaxing and will have you floating on clouds when it's over. During your session you'll be coached on breathing, concentration, and sounding. Tantra sessions, on average, usually go for about two to three hours."

And now, this massage person is IMing me, trying to get me to schedule my appointment. Uhh, no thank you.

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Here's a post from OnSugar blog Rantings of a Single Girl.

I had a wonderful vacation.  Wonderful.  It was so great to see my best friend again and meet my nephew.  We had a great time just hanging out and catching up.  Getting to cuddle with the baby was a great stress reliever as well.  It was so hard to leave and come home.

When I got home, I can't tell you how badly my heart ached.  My house felt so empty.  Sure, Devil Cat was happily waiting on me, but it feels so void of life.  At my friend's house there were people coming by to celebrate the baby.  He was screaming, crying, cooing.  A family was in that home.  My home is missing all that.

Keep reading after the jump.

Here's a post from OnSugar blog Glittarazzi.

If you're planning a romantic escape to Britian this winter, you can skip the oysters (and other aphrodisiac foods) at the grocery store — and head straight to the medicine aisle.

UK supermarket chain Tesco plans to sell OTC Viagra pills, starting next week, at half the prescription price in 300 of its stores.

To get the Viagra, men 40 to 65 will be required to see a pharmacist, provide a brief medical history, and have their blood pressure, cholesterol levels tested.

The price? These little blue pills will cost lovestruck Brits £52 per packet, which converts to about $81 — or about 10 bucks each.

About the same price as an arrangement of flowers. (Also available at Tesco.)

Did you know? Erectile dysfunction affects 15 to 30 million men in the United States.

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Here's an excerpt from OnSugar blog Rantings of a Single Girl.

The Help had been suggested by several people for me to read, but I just hadn't picked it up yet. So when y'all started suggesting it for the Book Club, I decided that would be my next pick. After reading the book in 2 days, I'm so happy that it was suggested.

I can't even begin to tell you how much this book hit home with me. At first I thought Stockett wouldn't have any idea about what she's writing about. I've found most authors who try to write about the South and racial struggles (who aren't from the South) can't do it. I was pleasantly surprised to learn that Stockett was born and raised in Jackson, MS.  Even if I didn't know she was, I would have been able to tell from her writing.  The beauty of how she described Mississippi was so wonderful to read.

While I wasn't around in 1960s Mississippi, my father was.  I can still hear his stories about the desegregation of schools and so on. I can still hear the anger in his voice when he talks about those times . . . and unfortunately that anger is a racial anger. He was raised to believe that people of color were not equal to him. My grandparents taught him that black people were quite literally the help.

Read the rest here.

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