For an act in which a dude uses another dude like a ball he juggles — with his feet! — this is strangely graceful. How does this even come up? "Hey, uh, Akira, I have this idea. Tell me what you think. I'm going to lie down and juggle your body with my feet for a good three or four minutes. Thomas Edison's gonna film it. You game?"
This eBay business is out of control. Earlier this week, we encountered a nutjob who's auctioning off herself and her home on eBay. Along the same lines, the dumbass below just auctioned off his "life" — his car, home, furnishings, job, and friends — for a mere $384,000. He was hoping to get at least a $100,000 more, but without a side of nachos thrown into the deal, I'm afraid he got what he was worth.
Devon Traboscia, a 42-year-old single mom of two, thought she'd multitask by auctioning off her house and herself as a package deal on eBay and Craigslist. Devon's itching to get married and her four-bedroom Florida home is, apparently, the best thing she has to offer. Intellect? Humor? Charm? Nah. For this real estate agent, square footage sells. Although Devon claims to be "doing it for the real reasons, the right reasons," I'm not sure there's ever any reason to hit up eBay for love — that is, unless this winner is her kind of Prince Charming. (Click here for more on the story and to see a slide show of Devon looking, uh, you'll see . . .)
Should we buy our prom dresses two sizes too small or four sizes too small? That is the question. Judging from this teenybopper's excruciating battle to pull off a dress in the fitting room, I guess five sizes too small is the answer. A form-fitting gown is sexy, but if huffing, puffing, and a tub of butter is necessary to yank the dress off at the end of the night — ditch it. If you can.
Ladies, we've got your "Perfect Match" right here. And don't let that minor speech impediment fool you, cuz he's got "a whole warehouse of peas" stored in that handsome little head of his. As Bobby himself would say, "It's like knock, knock. Who's there? Trick or Treat." This single stud is one sweet piece of candy ready for the taking. Mmm-Mmm.
It's no wonder this mild-mannered young gentleman would need the "Casanova Video Dating Service" to help him find a suitable soul mate. He's young, employed, has excellent taste in outerwear, and loves brunettes. Or redheads. Or blondes. Tall or short. And did I already mention that he's a generally content, easygoing guy?
Someone with a wicked sense of humor "retouched" the covers of some classic kiddie books. The artwork remains the same for the most part, but the titles have been edited — for better or for worse? — I'll let you decide. I must admit that the title My First Rave: Fun With "X," accompanied by a photo of half-dressed toddlers running in circles with their hands in the air like they just don't care, is a little magical. But maybe that's just me.
What's the best part of Thanksgiving? Kohl's after Thanksgiving sale. Eating so much that you slip into a food induced coma, only to wake up at four in the morning to the dog gabbing away like your best gossipy girlfriend about Black Friday shopping opportunities. It's not just a commercial, it's the American Dream.
Perhaps it's just me, but Sugarland's cover of Beyoncé's "Irreplaceable" is down home hilarious. They gave it their best shot at last night's American Music Awards show, but I don't think "ya got me twisted" has the same appeal when sung with a southern accent. Beyoncé eventually stepped on stage to show us how it should done, but her voice couldn't make amends for the accordions in the background. Can't we all just sing our own songs?
Playing with one's food is discouraged at the dinner table, but I guess it's fair game in the produce aisle. While most folks use a touch test to select their melons, this chick holds a soccer try-out. If the melon can withstand a knee tap to a headbutt to a goal shot, it's good!
...About cigarettes. A "responsible consulting organization" (name unknown) funded a study performed by "a competent medical specialist" (name unknown) who discovered that smoking 40 cigs is harmless. Sounds legit, right? It gets better. The study checked the sinus, nose, ear and throat regions of the participants involved. Good thing they didn't check the lungs! Hee, hee, hee. (Punks.)
This amazing PSA, made in 1967, imagined what life would be like in 1999. I love how they can anticipate the role computers will play in our lives (eBay = "fingertip shopping") but they can't imagine gender roles being any different: "What the wife selects on her console will be paid for by the husband on his counterpart console..."
Those academics have really outdone themselves with this one. A team of Cambridge mathematicians put their thinking caps on to determine that Jessica Alba has the hottest strut in Hollywood. Leave it to a bunch of brainiacs to take the "sex" out of sexy, leaving only the letters "x" and "y" (which happen to be axes on a graph) to determine the precise point where hip and waist meet to make the perfect hourglass figure. You think I'm joking? Read more.read more
This dude thinks his BFF's mom has got it going on and he's not afraid to let her know it. Clearasil thinks his flawless complexion has something to do with his (over)confidence and that may be true, but even without the mark of puberty on his face, he still looks like he's pushing 14-- so this is just disturbing. (Thanks, Miss Chris!)
Desperate times call for desperate measures and these folks weren't ashamed to take extreme measures (or make sad confessions) to win someone's affection. But our eligible billboard dude was not solely responsible for this sky-high advertisement. His "funny" coworkers were. And they didn't stop at the billboard; there's a website, too. You can visit it here. (It won't be long until a www.DateGiggle.com site comes around--wait for it!)