It's Valentine's Day. Still single? Well, step right up--we got one bitter bachelor ripe and ready for the taking. Although he never openly admits his loner status, his monologue screams "single," not to mention all the time he has on his hands to b*tch and groan about all the lovin' he's obviously hard up for. He comes with a knack for annoyingly over-dramatic ways of expressing himself and a hunky pair of specs. Bow-chica-bow-wow. Any takers?