I have always been somewhat of a "lone wolf" and I have started to look at isolation as heaven. My friends ignore me, talk behind my back and are not considerate to me. We used to all have fun together, but now, THEY have fun and have inside jokes while I politely stand by waiting for them to acknowledge I am there. I think it might be because they have "known each other for SO long" and I am a "work friend" that just moved here without knowing anyone. Should I just stop trying to be their friend or keep on putting forth the effort in hopes they open up their circle to me? I know this seems like a stupid question, but it is really hard not knowing anyone and having the comforts of a best friend to turn to. I'm sensitive, but I also hate pity parties. --Left out Olivia
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Dear Left out Olivia--
Is this a scene straight out of Mean Girls? I am sorry you are feeling left out of your new circle of friends -- unfortunately girls can be incredibly catty and hateful to each other, but know that most of the time women act that way out of insecurity. Although I am sure it doesn't make you feel any better about the situation, rest assured that you most likely aren't doing anything wrong. Have you confronted these women about the way their actions are making you feel? Have you suggested any ways to get to know each other better or work on your friendships?
Moving to a new city and making all new friends is not an easy task, but if these women continue to make you feel badly about yourself or if they make you feel like you are not good enough for them, it sounds like you would be better off starting from scratch and finding a new circle. Join a gym, or get involved in your community. Enroll in a local book club or read in a coffee shop. The more you get out there, the easier it is to meet new people. Just because you work with these women, it doesn't mean you need to be their best friend. You don't deserve to be treated poorly just because you haven't known them for "so long" so if I were you, I would stop trying now before you get yourself too invested in each other's lives. Good luck to you.