You Asked: Why Doesn't He Trust Me?

You Asked: Why Doesn't He Trust Me?


Dear Sugar,

I've been with my boyfriend for two years and despite never cheating on him, he still doubts the things I tell him. He questions where I've been and pulls me closer whenever he feels intimidated by another guy. He says he has been cheated on by other girls in the past, but that was years ago and I feel like I'm paying for their mistakes! How can I get him to understand that I am loyal? Just telling him that I love him isn't working. — Fed up Fionna

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Dear Fed up Fionna,

It sounds like your boyfriend is an incredibly jealous man who clearly has some unresolved issues from his past. Just because he has been with women who have cheated on him, it's not fair for him to always assume the worst of you, especially if you've never given him a reason to doubt you. It's time for a serious heart to heart.

Tell him that you're sick of his accusations. Make him understand how unfair he is being towards you and if he doesn't start making changes, he's going to sabotage your relationship. Giving your boyfriend reassurances of your love is important, but if your actions and words are not enough for him, I don't know what else there is you can do. Has he thought about seeing a therapist to get to the bottom of his pain from the past? If not, I would encourage him to talk about his fears with a professional so he can leave the past where it belongs. If your talk doesn't make him realize how his interrogations are affecting you, you might want to separate until he can get a grasp of his insecurities. I wish you both luck.

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