You Asked: Why Can't We All Just Get Along?

You Asked: Why Can't We All Just Get Along?


Dear Sugar,

I have a somewhat unique problem. While I love my boyfriend with all my heart, and know that he loves me in return, my parents don't approve of him. There has never been a falling out between them, and I still don't have a clear understanding as to why they dislike him; they just tell me to trust them because they "know best." My parents demanded that I break up with him, which I did for a while, until I realized how miserable I was without him.

We are now back together but my parents are in the dark about it. I feel sick inside knowing that I am betraying them, but then again, I'm thrilled to have this amazing guy who loves me more than I had ever imagined. I want everyone to get along, but I don't know how to make that happen — my parents are incredibly stubborn. Do you have any advice? — Torn Tory

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Dear Torn Tory,

Your parents having such strong feelings about you not being with this man raises a few red flags to me. While I don't doubt the fact that your boyfriend loves you, I'm left assuming that your parents know something you don't and they are simply trying to protect you. Since you don't have a clear understanding as to where they are coming from, a talk is definitely in order.

Ask your parents to be honest with you so you can get to the bottom of this once and for all, but remember that you'll have to be honest with them too, and that means coming clean about being back together. If they don't have a good reason why you shouldn't be together, explain to them why it's so important to you that they back off. Your happiness is what matters here so if this is all about a clashing of personalities, hopefully in time they'll be able to come to a middle ground. However, if your parents do have evidence to back up their ill will for this man, listen to what they have to say. Your parents might be older and wiser, but at the end of the day, the choice is ultimately up to you. Good luck to you.

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