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You Asked: What's Wrong With Me?

You Asked: What's Wrong With Me?

Dear Sugar,

I've been dating this great man for six months, and fell in love almost overnight. We are both divorcees who have been through a lot in our past. I am not looking to get married again, at least not yet, and he says he never wants to marry again. Sure, sounds like we are on the same page right? Well we're not. I want him to WANT to marry me! What's wrong with me? I love having sex; he is happy with once a week! I want to be with him everyday; he's happy seeing me every other day! What's wrong with me? One minute I think it's time to call it quits, and then I can't imagine my life without him. I love him, and I know he loves me, but why am I always questioning this relationship? What's wrong with me? — Always Questioning Alyssa


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Dear Always Questioning Alyssa,

I don't think there is anything wrong with you, but something tells me you had a power struggle in a previous relationship or in your marriage. The fact that you don't want to get married but you want him to want to marry you makes me think you aren't as secure in this relationship as you think you are.

It's pretty clear that you have different expectations about this relationship, so be sure to talk to him and let him know what you need in order to make you happy. If you need more time with him, tell him that. If you need more sex, tell him that too. The only way to have a healthy relationship where both parties are happy, is to be honest with your partner and most importantly, with yourself.

Only you can answer the question of why you are doubting this relationship but could it be that you're simply not ready to be committed to someone? Or perhaps deep down you know this man isn't the one for you? Six months is not that long to be with someone, so you very well might come to the realization that you are simply not a compatible match. I wish you luck, Alyssa.

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