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You Asked: Is Something Wrong With Me?


Dear Sugar,

I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for nine months. I have known him basically all my life and one day we just kissed! He is a great guy that loves me and cares for me like no other guy has. Now the only problem is that he loves sex (just like every other guy on this planet!) but I feel like I can't keep up with him. This is causing a rift between us because sometimes I'm just not in the mood and I feel like he feels let down. I have been wondering if there could be something wrong me or if there is some kind of woman Viagra I can take to help this situation. I'm too embarrassed to bring it up to my girlfriends because from the stories they share, they don't seem to be having the same problem I am. Please help! — Low Sex Drive Darcy

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Dear Low Sex Drive Darcy,

You should not feel embarrassed that you don't have a sex drive that matches your boyfriend's. Just like you stated, every guy on the planet loves sex, and if they had it their way, they'd have it all the time, but most women are just wired differently, that's all. Are you on any hormonal birth control? If so, that could be what's to blame. Many women feel the side effects from their BC wreaks havoc on their sex drive so perhaps you can experiment with other methods. Also keep lube handy — even if you aren't totally in the mood, it can make all the difference in the world. It's also not uncommon for couples to get stuck in a sexual rut so plan a date night, set the mood and wow the pants off your man — I'm sure he'll forget right then and there that there's a rift at all!

Unfortunately there are no Viagra like drugs on the market, however researchers are working on it. In the meantime, I suggest talking to your boyfriend about the way you feel. It sounds like your relationship has a great foundation so don't keep your insecurity a secret from him. If he hasn't told you that he feels let down, be sure you're not beating yourself up about nothing. Have a heart to heart and make sure you're on the same page about your expectations and needs. I hope this helps.

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