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You Asked: Shouldn't I be Way Over this by Now?

You Asked: Shouldn't I be Way Over this by Now?


Dear Sugar--

I have an ex boyfriend that I was with for 4 years and we broke up 6 years ago. We have maintained a casual friendship- one of us will call the other every couple of months. I have always felt that we would get back together, just when we were both more mature and settled. And he has tried in the past to renew our relationship, but I didn't feel I was ready. Well, now I feel ready, and of course, he has a girlfriend that he lives with!

Now I feel as if I missed the boat with him, and I am distraught over the fact that we aren't together and I didn't rekindle our relationship when I had the chance. How do I attempt to get him back? Are my hands tied? I have told him how I feel, and how deeply I regret not responding to his advances in the past, but he feels loyal to this new commitment, which I admire. I will move on if I have to, but I want to make sure that we don't still have "something" first. Please help my sanity and me! -- A Day Late Laurie

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Dear A Day Late Laurie--

I am sorry to say it, but I think you did miss the boat here. I must say I am a little skeptical as to what makes you feel ready now. While I am sure you still have feelings for your ex, sometimes we want what we can't have, so make sure you aren't confusing true emotions with jealousy.

Since you have already voiced your feelings to your ex, unfortunately you need to respect his decision to give his commitment with his current girlfriend a fighting chance. Being honest with him was the best thing you could have done, but your hands are in fact tied at this point. I am a firm believer in "if it's meant to be it will happen" so you never know what will happen down the road. In the meantime, I suggest putting yourself out there again and leaving the past in the past. Good luck.

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