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You Asked: Should I Ask Him to Move With Me?


Dear Sugar,

My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost two years. Things are going great, and we are both very happy in our relationship. I am in the process of applying for graduate school and, with the exception of one school that isn't exactly my first choice, they're all out of state. He isn't as career-oriented as I am, and he works in a field where he could probably find work anywhere. I feel ready to move in with him, but I'm not sure about asking him to quit his job and leave home as he knows it for me. What if we decided after living with each other for a few months that we aren't right for one another? I feel as if he would probably join me if I asked him; I feel like he's hinted at it, though he has not outright asked what our future entails. I know that long-distance relationships rarely work, and I don't want to break up with him, but I'm not sure if I'm ready for the level of commitment that asking him to uproot his entire life would entail. Help! — Unsure Sandra

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Dear Unsure Sandra,

You've been together two years now, so I advise you to just be honest with him. Since you are the one applying to schools that will require you to relocate, chances are he's waiting for you to make the move. Since he's hinted at the idea of going with you, I'm sure he just wants to make sure you're ready. Yes, moving in together is a huge step in a relationship, and while taking that commitment to the next level is scary, it could be well worth the risk.

If he decides to move and things don't work out, at least you'll know sooner rather than later so you can go your separate ways and move on with your lives. There are no guarantees in life, Sandra, so if you don't want this relationship to end, I say go out on a limb and take a chance. Good luck!

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