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You Asked: Is Our Anniversary Ruined?

Dear Sugar,

My fourth wedding anniversary is coming up at the end of this month. Every year, my husband and I try to take a vacation around this holiday. The problem is I plan the trip every year but have a lot going on with work right now and the stress of planning is just too overwhelming. I conveyed this to my husband and he said he would take on the task. I was a little apprehensive at first, maybe due to my own issues with control, but I got over it and agreed. Well here is the problem; we are now two weeks away from our anniversary and he has yet to plan anything! Last night, we looked online at some places within driving distance, but truth be told, I am a little upset that he didn't make more of an effort to plan something special. I fear that now, I will have to come up with something last minute. Why is it so hard to get a man to make plans?! — Disappointed Dina


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Dear Disappointed Dina,

I don't need to tell you that men are a different breed than women, and unfortunately, many men lack the planning gene. Of course it's disappointing that your husband hasn't already booked a wonderfully romantic getaway, but could he be surprising you with something? Is he the type to fake you out, lead you to believe that he didn't plan anything, all the while having something amazing up his sleeve? If that's just wishful thinking, your anniversary trip can still be great even if it is planned last minute.

Since you're obviously frustrated, tell your husband that you're upset that he didn't put forth more of an effort. If you hold onto your anger, it could turn into resentment rather quickly, so I suggest nipping it in the bud ASAP. Once you have that off your chest, take an hour or two each night to research your options and go from there. Lately it feels like there aren't enough hours in the day for anyone, so if you have to push out your trip by a week or two, do it if it means going someplace really special. In other words, don't just settle on a destination you can drive to if you usually use this vacation time to jetset somewhere unique. If you take the last-minute route, be sure to search the Internet for deals — many times traveling last-minute pays off. Good luck and happy anniversary!

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