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You Asked: My Boyfriend Won't Let Me Take His Picture

You Asked: My Boyfriend Won't Let Me Take His Picture


Dear Sugar,

I recently went on an all-expenses paid trip to New York with my boyfriend, and it was great. However, when we were on our carriage ride through Central Park, my boyfriend refused to take a picture with me. Not only did he refuse while on this excursion, but he refused throughout the entire trip. I know he has nothing to hide; he just doesn't like getting pictures taken. I was so upset over this, and he just didn't care. He kept saying "No pictures. No way." We ended up spending the rest of the day angry, and he even threatened to get me an early flight back home. Any advice on this? We have had arguments about pictures before. He just refuses to let anyone take our picture. I really only have one of him since we have been together. Whats going on?

—At My Wit's End Emma

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Dear At My Wit's End Emma,

I don't blame you for being upset. Getting your picture taken seems like such a normal thing, and it's a great way to celebrate your relationship and share it with others. Pictures tell stories and help us savor memories. Something tells me that there is obviously something deeper going on here.

I would definitely have a big talk with your man and get to the root of his feelings. Is he self-conscious about his looks? Is he worried that you're going to share the photos with people he doesn't like or know? Does he have an issue with getting his picture taken in general, or does he just mind when it's a picture of you two together? Is this a new relationship and he wants to wait until you've been together for a certain amount of time before you make the relationship official with a snapshot? It also may help if you explain to him why you want pictures of the two of you, or what you're going to do with the pictures after they're taken.

If he won't talk about this, you can try getting some info from his family, since this may have been an issue way before you came along. If you can't find anything out, and he continues to put his foot down about this, then you've got to figure out if this is something you can live with, or if you foresee this as being a huge problem down the road. Good luck Emma.

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