You Asked: I've Fallen Out of Love With My Husband

You Asked: I've Fallen Out of Love With My Husband


Dear Sugar,

I am 37 yrs old, have been married for 15 years and have two children with my husband. My problem is that I haven't been in love with him for years. I have told him that we need to divorce — I left him for a year, but came back due to financial reasons — but he keeps telling me that he loves me and begs me not to leave him. He thinks we can work it out, but I have tried, and faking it is just not working for me anymore. He's a great guy, but I'm absolutely miserable right now.

I know this has been hard on our kids and part of me wants to stay for their sake, but the other part of me desires passion and love again — I want more out of life and I feel like it's passing me by. What should I do? — Wanting to Leave Laura

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Dear Wanting to Leave Laura,

I feel for you that you're struggling in an unhappy marriage right now, but you're right, if you don't make a move here, your life will pass you by. It's a common desire to want to stay for the kids' sake, but remember, you'd only be doing them a disservice — you can't give them what they need if you're unhappy in your own life.

While I'm all for trying to work it out before calling it quits, it sounds as though you've already mentally checked out of your marriage. If couples counseling isn't an option for you, and if you really feel that divorce is the only course of action, I think you should follow your instincts sooner rather than later.

I'm not surprised that faking your happiness isn't working for you anymore so do what you need to do to be truly happy again. This won't be an easy process, but after everything is said and done, I have faith that you'll feel good about the decision you made. Good luck.

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