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You Asked: I'm So Nosy!

You Asked: I'm So Nosy!


Dear Sugar,

Whenever I meet new people, I completely obsess over them. I look for them on social websites, I Google them and email/call way too much. I know that I shouldn't do this, but I cannot stop myself! Curiosity killed the cat, I guess. I have ruined three relationships over the past three years with some really cool people. I don't have many friends, so I think this is a reason why I do this. I know this sounds rather ridiculous, but I don't know how to stop — what is wrong with me? — Relentless Rachel

To see DearSugar's answer, read more.

Dear Relentless Rachel,

In all fairness, I think most women obsess about new potential mates, but if your constant probing is breaking these relationships, something's gotta give. You say you don't have many friends, so I think it will behoove you to find an outlet to talk about these men — write in a journal, or talk to the few friends you do have, a family member, or even a therapist so you have someone to share that excitement with.

There's nothing wrong with surfing the Internet looking for information on him; we're all guilty of that. But try not to overcontact him — remember, distance makes the heart grow fonder! Though I'm not one to play games, there is something to be said about giving someone enough space to miss you — being too available can be a turn off to some men. So going forward, Rachel, whenever you get that urge to contact him, call anyone else, take a walk, bake something, or read a magazine. When you have too much time on your hands, it's easy to overobsess. Breaking your cycle won't happen overnight, so just do your best to make baby steps until you've reached a comfortable place. Good luck!

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