You Asked: I'm Getting Depressed About Being Unemployed

You Asked: I'm Getting Depressed About Being Unemployed


Dear Sugar,

I just finished my master's in May and I still can't find a job. I am in the education field and I live on Long Island, where jobs are hard to find. My boyfriend and I have an apartment together, and he is working a lot to keep us afloat. We have considered relocating for my sake but figured we would allow some time first. Money aside, I am having a really hard time dealing with being unemployed. I am feeling sad over the fact that my boyfriend is overworked and has to basically support me. I feel like all of the time and money I spent on my education is not paying off. I have a part-time job, I work evenings, so I spend most of the day at home and then miss my boyfriend because he has a day job. At first, I took advantage of getting myself organized and continuing my job search, but now I have a hard time getting out of bed and feel like there is no purpose to my day. I know that I am depressed. I would love to have some input on how I can get out of this slump and get on with things. — Desperate Davida

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Dear Desperate Davida,

I'm sorry you're having a hard time finding a job. We are living in a crazy time right now, so try not to be too hard on yourself — there are a plethora of people in your exact situation. For some advice on the career front, check out this advice from my friend SavvySugar; hopefully she'll be of some help. In the meantime, I have a few suggestions myself.

While I don't blame you for feeling guilty that your boyfriend is working extra hard while you look for a job, try to keep it all in perspective. It doesn't sound like he's miserable doing it, so just be appreciative! I'm sure it makes him feel good to be able to help you, and if the roles were reversed, wouldn't you do the same for him?

Since you are working opposite schedules as your boyfriend, I recommend looking for a new part-time job during regular business hours. Not only will it give a purpose to your day and time with your boyfriend, but getting back in the routine of going to work everyday, no matter what the job is, will make the transition that much easier when you find a full-time job. Since relocating is potentially an option, why don't you give yourself a time frame? If you can't find a job in six to eight months, send your resume out in cities where you could see yourself living.

I know it's probably really disheartening to think all your hard work isn't paying off, but in time, I have faith that it will. Be patient with yourself, let your boyfriend take care of you for a while, and make sure you communicate with him. Perhaps just talking it out will relieve you of the guilt you feel. Good luck.

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