You Asked: I'm Feeling Second Best

Dear Sugar,

I have been with my boyfriend for a year and a few months. We were friends and co-workers for a few months before he asked me out, and everything has been amazing so far. However recently, I started noticing changes in his behavior and things have been a little rocky between us. He seems to have less and less time for me and I feel as if I've been bumped to number three or four on his list of priorities. He is a wonderful man and I know I can trust him completely, but I just don’t know what to do when I feel as if he's lost interest in me.

I have spoken to him about this in the past, but it always leads to fights (I have a tendency to get emotional and blame him), which is why he now shuts down completely when I even broach the subject. I am very afraid of losing him and I don’t know if this is a big issue or if I am just making it one. Please help. — Second Best Sadie

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Dear Second Best Sadie,

Feelings fluctuate in all relationships and it's very easy to read too much into them, but you're not making a big deal out of this if his actions are hurting your feelings or making you doubt your relationship. It sounds like the honeymoon period is over but that shouldn't automatically make you his third or fourth priority. Since you're taking that as a sign that he's losing interest, I'd talk to him ASAP. You know you can be emotional so try to be as matter of fact as you can. You don't want to smother him, but you need to find out where he stands in this relationship so you have a fair understanding of his expectations, and vice versa.

Keep the lines of communication open and hopefully with a good old heart to heart, you and your boyfriend will be able to get your relationship back on track. Good luck.

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