You Asked: I Don't Like How My Privates Look

Dear Sugar,

I am wanting to be in a relationship more than anything, but I have a problem. I'm really nervous about having sex because I'm embarrassed about being naked, and ashamed of how my private parts look. My breasts seem small to me, and I'm really hairy down there. It would be terrible if he didn't like me because of how I looked. How can I feel better about this?

—Self-Conscious Connie

Dear Self-Conscious Connie,

Just so you know, everyone is nervous and uncomfortable when they're first naked in front of someone else. My advice is to get to know the guy before you have sex so you can develop an emotional connection first. If you find that you're both ready to become intimate, tell him that you want to move slowly. Only do things you're comfortable with, and you can even keep the lights off at first. Try not to worry about what he thinks of your appearance because chances are he's nervous about being naked in front of you, too. If you truly care for one another, then you'll feel like you can be open and honest with your feelings and you'll know that you can trust him to be understanding and patient.

As far as your smaller chest goes, lots of guys don't want a woman with huge breasts, so be happy with what you have. If you feel like your girls need a little umph, get yourself a push-up bra, but don't overdo it, you don't want your guy to be too surprised when he does see you naked! As far as your pubic area, you can trim your hair so that it's not as long, shave or wax the sides so it looks a little neater, or get rid of the hair completely — the choice is up to you.

I would also practice being naked with yourself (alone), so you can get used to undressing and feeling nothing but air on your skin. At first it will feel really weird, but with time, you'll become more comfortable and confident with your body. Always remember that if a guy doesn't want to be with you because of how you look, then he's not a guy worth knowing.

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