You Asked: How Can I Say No without Being Rude?

Dear Sugar--

My roommate and I have always shared our clothes with each other as long as we ask first and dryclean it after wearing it. Well, my roommate just started taking the pill and subsequently put on a bunch of weight. She is always saying how fat and unattractive she feels, yet still continues to borrow my clothes because she says none of her tops fit her anymore.


Well, I am a size 4 and my clothes are starting to get big on me after my roommate borrows them! How can I nicely tell her I don't want her wearing my things since she has gained some weight without adding to her self-consciousness? --Don't Want to be Mean Melissa

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Dear Don't Want to be Mean Melissa--

This is a toughie but it sounds like your roommate needs to do some shopping of her own. If you had always been the same size and her clothes aren't fitting her, it should be pretty obvious that yours won't either.

Some women do gain a few pounds when they start taking the pill or their breasts get bigger, or both, so the next time she complains about how fat she is, why don't you suggest going for a walk or hitting the gym together? And the next time she asks to borrow your clothes, I think it's time you suggest she goes shopping.

If the shoe were to be on the other foot, how do you think she would approach the situation? You are obviously good friends, so just be honest with her. It isn't fair for you to sit back and let her ruin the clothes that you treat yourself to all because you are biting your tongue to protect her feelings. While that is incredibly selfless of you, it isn't fair to you, so don't let her take advantage of you or else you are the one that is going to have to go shopping for a whole new wardrobe!

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