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You Asked: How Can I Make our First Time Special?





Dear Sugar--

Alright. My boyfriend and I are about to have sex for the first time sometime soon. I am not a virgin, and neither is he, but here is my question. How can I make it special?

I have all these ideas but I don't want to pile them all into one night because then there won't be much left to do for a long time. I thought of sexy lingerie, but do you have any other suggestions? We are going to a hotel (we have no privacy at each other's houses because we live with our parents).....

Any ideas would be amazing! Thanks!

--Help Make it Special Shayna


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Dear Help Make it Special Shayna--

Since it's your very first time together, that in itself makes it extremely special, but I completely understand that you want to make it even more memorable. You're a smart cookie by not wanting to put all your ideas in one basket; you can't show him all your tricks at once! Wearing something sexy is a great start and here are some other ideas I've come up with:

  • I might sound like your mom here, but make sure you guys talk about your method of birth control before the big night. That way it'll be taken care of and you won't have to worry about it
  • Light candles around the room. Delicate lighting is key for setting the mood
  • Make a mix of some sweet and calming music and most hotels provide a CD player or iPod adapter
  • Buy some scented bath bubbles and spend some time in the tub together
  • Bring some massage oil and take turns rubbing each other's feet, hands, or backs. Don't try to exchange full body massages here - that could take all night!
  • Go slowly. I know that you have been waiting to share this moment, but take your time and enjoy every minute you're together
  • Lower your expectations. I know you want this night to be really special, but make sure you don't put too much pressure on the evening because if it doesn't pan out the way you expected, you'll be sorely disappointed.
  • Talk to each other. Expressing your feelings about how you feel about one another can be a real turn on. Most importantly, don't be shy about asking for what you want
  • Don't forget to have fun!

The time before your first intimate experience with someone is always so exciting. Whatever you choose to do, go with the idea that feels the most comfortable to you, and I'm sure it will be amazing!

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