You Asked: He Loves me, he Loves me Not


I have been with my boyfriend for almost a year. We hit a bit of a rocky patch in the middle but have had an amazing comeback in the last 6 months. We have a really good relationship and are very good friends too. A couple of months ago, after a night of drinking, I told him I I loved him -- he said he didn't know if he "loved me," but that me telling him so made him really happy. The next day, we carried on as we normally do, he didn't act the least bit distant or uncomfortable, but I just feel so incredibly stupid that he can't say he loves me back. Should I worry considering we have been together for so long that he is just going through the motions with me or could he just not be ready to say it yet? When we are together, he makes me feel like he loves me so what's up with my guy? He shows me he cares but he won't tell me he loves me back! -- Foot in Mouth Melissa

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Dear Foot in Mouth Melissa--

Ok, I understand that you probably feel a little embarrassed for saying the L word first, but you shouldn't be ashamed for speaking your mind and being honest about your feelings. Unfortunately when you've been drinking, you're less inhibited so it's no wonder you let it slip, especially if those three little words have been lingering on the tip of your tongue.

Now, just because he didn't say anything back to you doesn't necessarily mean he doesn't really care about you -- it just means he isn't ready to say it yet. To be honest, I don't think you could have asked for a better reaction from your boyfriend -- he isn't making it awkward, he appreciated you telling him how you felt, and he still makes you feel loved and special.

Saying I love you is a very big step for many people so you need to respect his candor just like he is respecting yours. You should want him to only say he loves you when he is ready, not because you said it first. Try to just enjoy your boyfriend for the way he treats you and the way he makes you feel -- in due time, he will be ready to say the L word too.

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