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You Asked: Did I Ruin my Chance?

Dear Sugar--
The night of my 21st birthday I was incredibly drunk. I met a guy that night (before I got drunk) and he was really awesome. I ended up making myself look completely trashy in my opinion, dragging him into a bathroom and making out, before going home with him and having sex. This is not normally my style, and I do blame my severe intoxication. Is it possible that I could still pursue him after that? Is it possible for a relationship to come out of a HORRIBLE first impression? He was drunk as well, and the next morning he seemed OK but I've just never done anything quite like that, and don't know how to approach the situation. --Freaking out Frankie


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Dear Freaking out Frankie--

First of all, what's done is done, so try not to fixate on the logistics of that night. I can almost guarantee that everyone has done their fare share of stupid stuff after having one too many, especially on their 21st birthday. With that said, yes, you can absolutely redeem yourself from your drunken first impression -- we all make mistakes.

You say he seemed OK the next morning -- did you talk at all? Did you exchange phone numbers or e-mail addresses? If you want to pursue him, by all means go for it, you have nothing to lose. Try saying something like this:

I wanted to apologize to you for my behavior on my birthday. That was totally out of character for me and I want to make it up to you, if you're interested, by treating you to dinner, and or a drink this weekend

This way you can express your embarrassment and let him know you are interested in seeing him again in a not so intoxicated manner. 21st birthdays are all about letting loose and having a good time, so as long as you act mature and completely yourself the next time you go out, I am sure you can start from scratch with this guy!! Good luck.

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