I have been dating my boyfriend for almost two years now. He is an amazing boyfriend; in fact, I've never dated a guy like this before. About six months into our relationship, his ex became a problem. She called him constantly, along with text messages and emails. I had no problem with it in the beginning, because she's never been a threat to me, until I found out that he hadn't even told her about me! Instead, he was telling her he missed her, and on a couple of occasions, he even saw her.
I honestly felt bad for this girl because it was clear that he was stringing both of us along — I knew it wasn't solely her fault. When I confronted him, he claimed that he was over her, but I've lost all trust. He is an amazing guy, but I feel like he's been withholding the truth about our relationship since day one. Can I overcome this? I've never been a jealous person and I don't want to turn into one now, but I have no idea how to conquer this problem. — Deceived Dianna
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Dear Deceived Dianna,
To be completely honest, I'm not sure this deception is worth moving past. Not only did he allow his ex to continue to contact him, but he crossed the line when he told her he missed her while in a relationship with you — that's cheating in my book! When the trust is broken in any relationship, a serious decision has to be made as to whether you can truly forgive and move on. If you hold on to your anger, or if you feel like he's still not being trustworthy, it'll just be a matter of time until your jealousy and doubt creates a rift that can't be fixed.
People make mistakes in relationships all the time, so if you believe that he's truly sorry, over her, and willing to change, give him another shot, but you'll have to be the judge of that. He could be the greatest guy in the world, Dianna, but what's important is how he treats you, and from the sound of it, he hasn't been respecting you or your relationship. Good luck.