I am a 21 year old college student who has never been in a relationship, had a boyfriend, slept with anyone, etc. I get approached by guys all the time who either are looking to get laid or have a girl to mess around with.
I am strongly opposed to casual hook ups and want a meaningful relationship, so I bypass their offers. The problem, DearSugar, is out of all my friends I am the only one like this. All my friends believe in casual sex and friends with benefits. It's not just them either. I go to college parties and all I see are guys acting like idiots trying to score with any girl available. Am I too old fashioned or are there people out there like me?
-- Saving Myself Mary
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Dear Saving Myself Mary --
Well, I hate to break it to you, but that's the scene at the majority of colleges. Everyone is so excited not to have their parents dictating what they can and can't do that some people get overly excited about exploring their freedom. If you're into the party scene, it can be the greatest time of your life - but it isn't for everyone, especially if you don't like the idea of drinking, losing control and being promiscuous.
It sounds like you are extremely mature and have the utmost respect for yourself, which is awesome. Many girls can get themselves into trouble their first few years of college, ignoring the dangers of casual sex (did somebody say STIs and unwanted pregnancy?). If it seems like you're the only one who's not running around sex-crazed, you may want to associate yourself with like minded people and avoid those annoying fraternity parties where people are just trying to hook-up.
There are definitely guys out there who want to have a meaningful relationship like you, but you'll have a better chance meeting them in class, at the library, at a cafe, or even at the laundromat. Join a club, a sports team, a gym, or get a part-time job so you can expand your group of friends. Stick to your guns Mary and remain true to what makes you comfortable. There are good guys out there, so don't give up just yet!