I'm dating an amazing guy. We've been in a serious relationship for just about a year now, but before we were fully committed to each other, we were dating other people — he more so than me. It wasn't until relatively recently that it became an issue, when I noticed that he still talks to the girl he was seeing. She still has eyes for my boyfriend and doesn't try to hide her attraction for him. I try not to be an overly jealous girlfriend, but I'm only human; I get worried sometimes.
I brought this up with him a few months back, and I asked if he would stop talking to her, but he felt that was too much for me to ask. Every time I try to bring it up, which is not often, he gets frustrated that I am so jealous and reiterates that he's not cheating and therefore it should be a nonissue that he's still friends with her. Am I just being overly jealous, or do I have a right to be upset about this relationship? — Possessive Polly
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Dear Possessive Polly,
Even if your boyfriend isn't technically cheating on you with this other woman, he needs to respect your feelings about their relationship. We all know the jury is still out on whether or not men and women can be just friends, so I think there's something to be said if you don't have a good feeling about their relationship.
I happen to think you're not being an overly jealous girlfriend, so I'd have a heart to heart with your boyfriend and try to understand why this relationship is so important to him. Perhaps he's holding onto something from his past because he's not 100 percent ready to be in a committed relationship, or maybe they are legitimately good friends — whatever it is, if he wants to carry on this friendship, he's going to have to do whatever it takes for you to feel at ease about it. At the end of the day, Polly, you're going to have to follow your womanly instincts with this one. I wish you luck.