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Why Did He Disappear?

"Why Has He Disappeared?"

This question is from a Group Therapy post in our TrèsSugar Community. Add your advice in the comments!

I am writing to ask for opinions and maybe explanations on why men disappear. I am not seeking advice such as "move on" and "he doesn’t deserve you," I know that I have to and I am, but I feel that I need some clarity in order to reach closure.

To make a long story short, this man that I met, he was everything that I wanted. I thought the world of him. He was interesting, funny, smart, charming and most importantly we had so much chemistry. For three months I felt like I was on a dream trip. Every date had the excitement of a first date, every encounter had great meaning to me. But I could feel that when we were not together he was not much into me (doesn't call much, doesn't text) but I know that he liked me and made the effort to make me happy. In return, I started to give him more and more space. First because I felt that he needed it and second because I also had my pride to protect. We had a talk about long term serious relationships and he, at times, sounded like he was in and other times he was not. I could tell clearly that he was not ready for commitment. On my birthday he prepared for a nice surprise, but I could feel things were cooling down. Just as I was leaving the car as he was dropping me off after my birthday party I could feel that he got too emotional as if it was the last time he would see me. I saw him again one time and then I decided to stop calling him or initiating any plans and wait for his calls. He did not call for three weeks. On his birthday I decided to write to him, just a simple message to wish him happy birthday and he never replied back.

My mind needs to stop thinking about the reasons. Why would a man disappear like this? Why wouldn't he reply to a simple birthday message when we never had a fight? Options are he is 1) pissed off 'cause maybe he expected more on his birthday; 2) he doesn't care anymore; 3) he wanted me to hate him and move on (knowing him he is not the most thoughtful person). The relationship lasted for four months.

Need to understand please.

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