It only made sense to me to pit America's least favorite dads against each other in the battle for who's douchier.
On the one hand, there's Jon Gosselin of Jon and Kate Plus Eight fame. This man had no problem parading his children around on reality television when he was still on the payroll, but now that he's getting cut out of the show, he refuses to let his wife continue on without him. (He claims it's a sudden concern for his children and not his sudden loss of income that's motivating him.)
On the other hand, there's alleged balloon hoax perp Richard Heene, who is being prosecuted along with his wife for pretending that his six-year-old son Falcon had unlatched the family's helium balloon and was flying around in danger. We already enumerated his douchey ways, but to summarize: the guy's a misogynistic, homophobic, racist jerk who is using his kids to get famous.
So now it's up to you . . .