Who Do You Blame: The Cheater or the Homewrecker?

July 2, 2008

In case you aren't up to date on your celebrity gossip, Sienna Miller is onto her next relationship, albeit still "rumored" with Balthazar Getty. When I saw the pictures of them together, my first reaction was obviously disappointment (he's married with four kids for crying out loud!) but I have to say my anger was directed more towards Sienna than Balthazar. Of course, it takes two to tango, but since she's the unattached, unfazed part of the equation, it's easier for me to call her the homewrecker than it is him. Unfair — yes, but I don't think I'm alone in feeling this way. When it comes to infidelity, placing blame doesn't make the problems go away yet it's still an automatic response so ladies, tell me, who do you think is to blame in this particular situation?

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125 Comments

snowysakurasky 4 years

his fault. she has nothing to do with their relationship or his wife.

fashionistaenit 4 years

Both are definitely to blame. However, I am more disappointed in Balthazar Getty. He's the one with a wife (seperated or not) and four kids! Shame on Sienna too. She did it with Jude and Jude did it to her. Does she need more bad kharma???

chatoyante 4 years

The other woman should know better, but she's not the one who took the vow to be faithful. The married man is the guiltier party.

sw33tlovin 4 years

i think blathazar is more to blame. and in general, i always blame the person in a committed relationship simply because ... balthazar said those vows and broke her trust. sienna was there. but there's always gonna be a woman or man hitting on your significant other .. balthazar was ultimately the one who ended up making the decision to kill the relationship.

sw33tlovin 4 years

i think blathazar is more to blame. and in general, i always blame the person in a committed relationship simply because ...balthazar said those vows and broke her trust. sienna was there. but there's always gonna be a woman or man hitting on your significant other .. balthazar was ultimately the one who ended up making the decision to kill the relationship.

WJN88 4 years

I have recently been "the homewrecker" and from my view of it, both are equally guilty. "The cheater" has a responsibility to his/her spouse and family, and therefore should not let it escalate to that point out of respect for his/her marriage vows. The homewrecker is just as guilty if he/she knows the cheater is married, and has a moral responsibility to draw the line. (I wish I had the excuse of not knowing... For my moral comfort I used the excuse that he was in a bad marriage. I knew then, (as I know now), but chose to ignore the fact, that bad or good, a marriage is a marriage and a commitment should be respected regardless of the individual circumstances.) Cheating is NEVER okay, and both parties are always guilty because both had a chance to say no!

LittleHardCandy 4 years

When i was younger I would be quick to say 'SHE IS" But now older and wiser, He gets the title " Hands Down' He is the one with the home, that is being wrecked. He is wecking his home, family, name, future. If she knows about his family, then she has some to blame, but as far as I am concerned,,,four children, should be a reason to save or try to save a marriage.

LittleHardCandy 4 years

QueenKT 4 years

God, it's so hard to choose just one - I'd say they're both equally disgusting and selfish. But they're 2 morally bankrupt people, so they're probably perfect for each other.

BeatBoxANNI 4 years

Both parties are responsible. It's truly pathetic.

julie090583 4 years

This is an old thread by now but I feel compelled to comment. I'm shocked to read that ANYONE would blame her more than him. Wow. It's infuriating that there is still this tendency to blame the woman, even though in this case it is first and foremost HIS responsibility to uphold his vows, as he is the one who took them!This reminds me of a situation in my group of friends. Guy X dated girl 1, and they broke up. He then started dating girl 2. About a month into dating girl 2, he started hooking up with girl 1 again, unbeknownst to either girl. One night at a bar, girl 1 showed up while the guy was out with girl 2. Girl 1 proceeded to throw a huge tantrum (understandable), but then for weeks after, she and her friends blamed girl 2 for the situation. WHAT?? She didn't even KNOW what was going on with them, and even if she did, he was the one being a two-timer! The lack of logic simply astounds me.

julie090583 4 years

This is an old thread by now but I feel compelled to comment. I'm shocked to read that ANYONE would blame her more than him. Wow. It's infuriating that there is still this tendency to blame the woman, even though in this case it is first and foremost HIS responsibility to uphold his vows, as he is the one who took them! This reminds me of a situation in my group of friends. Guy X dated girl 1, and they broke up. He then started dating girl 2. About a month into dating girl 2, he started hooking up with girl 1 again, unbeknownst to either girl. One night at a bar, girl 1 showed up while the guy was out with girl 2. Girl 1 proceeded to throw a huge tantrum (understandable), but then for weeks after, she and her friends blamed girl 2 for the situation. WHAT?? She didn't even KNOW what was going on with them, and even if she did, he was the one being a two-timer! The lack of logic simply astounds me.

chiquita29 4 years

Both. But moreso him than her. He's the one that's married. But i'll admit, if my husband cheated on me, i'd hate her way more, I think. I'd just be all jealousy and rage, like why'd she have to go after my husband? But I have zero tolerance for this behavior, if I was ever cheated on, i'd be out the door, and i'd never look back.

snowbunny11 4 years

I'm really glad that so many people disagreed with Dear's outdated and sexist viewpoint! Obvs. we can't know what happened, and it isn't our business, but in this case the man was the one who took the vows, had the wife and four children! It was HIS family that he may have wrecked! I'm not saying I approve of what Sienna Miller may have done, but I seriously can't see how it would be more her fault than his! Maybe we just assume that women are the more moral sex, but that just lets men off the hook for their poor behavior!

snowbunny11 4 years

Frank y Ava 4 years

The cheater is to blame. He/she is the one that is married not the "homewrecker". People are always throwing stones at the woman but I think we should direct blame at the cheater.

JaimeLeah526 4 years

Blame the cheater first always! It doesn't make it okay to go for a man you know is married but he can say no and he chose not to. I'd only blame the other woman if she knew he was married and didn't care and I'd still blame her less than I would him.

Janine22 4 years

He is the one that has made a commitment to someone else. He is the one that stood up in a church and made a promise to remain loyal to his wife. He is the one that is hurting his children. It is mostly his fault. Besides, it is possible that he could have lied to her and said his marriage was over, he wasn't having sex with his wife anymore, he didn't love her anymore etc...Sienna is young, maybe she just believed his lies. However, she is still partly to blame, what she did was wrong regardless.

AvaSofia 4 years

I was disappointed to read the story and see the pics of them together but as far as I'm concerned, she's a home wrecker and it almost seems like she goes out of her way to look for homes to wreck. She has no self-respect nor respect for other women in general. That's not to say he's innocent - - he doesn't deserve his wife and happy family if this is what he's capable of. But, no matter what he has said to her about his marriage, so long as he is legally married, it's hands off lady. But she seems to have a problem with that. I never liked her before, now I can barely tolerate to hear or see her name in print. She's a wh*re (no offense to wh*res).

BRiles 4 years

Speaking of WOMEN, I mean.

BRiles 4 years

Speaking of WOMEN, I mean.

BRiles 4 years

She's more to blame because she's the "unattached" one? Shouldn't it be the opposite? What Sienna's done is terrible, and she should have more resect for herself and for womankind. But HE's the one who swore to be faithful to one person for the rest of his life, created a life with a woman and made children with her. Sienna had no such committment or responsbility to uphold, as other have pointed out. Her actions still aren't excusable, of course.Also, since you're so hard on Sienna, I wonder what your opinion of Angelina is. Speaking of womae who move in on other people's husbands...

BRiles 4 years

She's more to blame because she's the "unattached" one? Shouldn't it be the opposite? What Sienna's done is terrible, and she should have more resect for herself and for womankind. But HE's the one who swore to be faithful to one person for the rest of his life, created a life with a woman and made children with her. Sienna had no such committment or responsbility to uphold, as other have pointed out. Her actions still aren't excusable, of course. Also, since you're so hard on Sienna, I wonder what your opinion of Angelina is. Speaking of womae who move in on other people's husbands...

SandyFeet 4 years

OMG!! None of this is our concern ppl. This is a private matter between these people. We can not be judge and jury on this one. Are we so puritanical that we pass blame.... None of us will be dating these two in the near future, so is not our business. GAL

italianblonde 4 years

I blame both!! The cheater should have all the blame though, everyone attacks the person that they're cheating with!

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