People have been chatting on Twitter about what will happen if Barack Obama becomes president. Jason Kottke collected the best hypotheses, and put them all here. When you get to the site, just keep refreshing to see a stream of Obama-maniac dreams. Some of my favorites? When Obama wins:
- God will literally Bless America.
- iPhones will have cut-and-paste.
- Starbucks will stop referring to their smalls as talls.
- We will all shower in beer and soap will be replaced by bacon.
Are you convinced that an Obama victory will be magical? Fill in the blank for yourself. When Obama wins . . .
Hudson
I saw this on my boyfriend's blog a couple of days ago and loved it, too. Some of them are quite funny.
1when obama wins:
our children will all wear red scarves and sing songs about being comrades...
I kid, I kid.
2soap will be replaced by bacon?
thats hysterical!
3it's a sign of how early it is in the morning for me that I've looked at this twice and really seriously considered the notion. my jeans will fit perfectly? how? I haven't heard him talk about this yet.
but then again, i've called people early in the morning and left prayer messages. so that's just me. "dear Lord, I'm goign to be late getting into the office. I'll stop and get us some coffee."
4this goes perfectly into what i was saying yesterday!
there wouldn't be jokes like this if people didn't actually ACT like this... not all Obama supporters, but you know..
5I'll entertain the little game here.
If ____ wins, your annoying hypochondriac coworker who can't do a single thing by herself will never step foot in your office or even speak to you again. She will become mute, in fact, then win the lottery and never be seen again.
6AND Kris, she'll always be getting free health care...
7If Obama wins we are all screwed. How's that?
8Sy, yours literally made me laugh out loud!
9oh and she'll like that, because she has a new illness every week! and all the doctors are IDIOTS. idiots! i totally called her on it once at lunch. She was blabbing on about how she didn't have any problems with her heart. I was like, you had a heart condition last month! remember the chest pains? the amb ride to the ER (from work)? boy, you were really having a heart attack that day. i don't know what illness we're up to this month but I really want to slap her.
10and kris,
when obama wins, we'll get to foot the crazy ladies medical bill
team blue...
11oh
and when obama wins, she'll get her jaw wired shut and we won't have to listen to her fill up every silent moment with a stupid comment. like "this table has little wheels on it. Wheels wheels wheels! how clever. wheels! heh heh heh."
or "does anyone know a good gynecologist? because I have..."
12that was a terrific rant. thanks ya'll.
Team Red.
13oh my gosh! who is this woman?!
14she's a NUTBUCKET. not just a nut, a big bucket of all variety of nuts.
15One said When Obama wins there will be free ice cream every day!
Hmmm...
maybe I should vote for him...
16When _____ wins, bathroom stall talkers will be banned!
17What about free cake tuesdays?!?!
18Sy, that would be redundant because everything will be free then. GOSH.
19well it IS socialism...
20Wow! I've had so many thoughts that follow "If Obama wins", and not one of them were on that site!
21Ha! I have a bathroom talker at work! She drives me nuts.
22ewww bathroom talkers are the worst!
23yeah, just cause you recognize my feet when you walk in, doesn't mean I want to talk to you, especially while you "puh puh" into the toilet. There are some people I just don't want to know that well.
24gah-ross!
25Our Director is a bathroom talker. Ew!
26I seriously want to make either a site with "when mccain wins"
or our own hilarious take on "when obama wins"
that would be FUN!
27Do it, Sy. start a blog!
28I think another take on the "Obama wins" site would be great!!
29I just did in conservative sugar!!
30I think it's funny whoever's name you put in there. It's pure silliness and I love it.
Sy I am going to check it out!
31OMG, did you see
When Obama wins, unicorns will crap ice cream and pastries?
32that's sick!
don't they know unicorns don't exist? geesh.
33Mmmmm Ice cream and pastries
34hahah! thats so funny!
where do these people come up with this stuff?
like those Chuck Norris facts.... gosh those would make me laugh forever!
35I'm still stuck on the whole soap to bacon thing.... Maybe I could get my mom to wash my mouth out more often then. Heck, I'll do it for her!
36
37big day hf!
38harmony! come on! we know you have a few sayings up your sleeve!
39Real tired... zzz
40In the fairness of the day where the underdog is going to win both states by double digits I will respectfully decline.
41WOW! See I told you I'm tired. I'm not sure what other state I'm talking about. LOL
42is kentucky today too?
43No it's on the 20th, I'm just sleepwalking. I WISH it was. Then she would win two in one day and hopefully it would shut everyone up for at least 3 days. (pundits...etc.)
44Shutting people up?!?! That'll never happen, unles we get enough gags.... Anyone want to help with that?
Go team red
45I would LOVE to gag the pundits. I can't believe how ridiculous the "news" has gotten. I've recently stopped watching it for the most part. I've been trying to get my news from newspapers and of course sugar instead.
46Yes, they are IN LOVE with Obama.
47HF i thought of you yesterday because the cover of Time declares Obama the winner and i was like... awww poor HF!
48I had to stop watching the news as well. I stick to Drudge and Sugar. If I heard one more thing about Obama, I was going to throw something at the television.
49UGH! I didn't see that. I'm sorry this IS ridiculous. What is the point of having super delegates, a check and balance system in case of a nation-wide fad, if they have no intention of ever using it? It frustrates me beyond belief. I can't BELIEVE how biased this election has been. It's disgusting. News channels should be ashamed of themselves.
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