When You're in a Relationship, Do You Say "We"?

January 31, 2010

It might be sort of pretentious, but apparently using the pronoun "we" when referring to you and your partner is good for your relationship. Those smug people over at UC Berkeley say so anyway — researchers there found that couples who use we/us/our are better at solving conflicts and experience less psychological stress. Do you use the royal relationship "we"?

20 Comments

PrincessLtrain 3 years 15 weeks

Totally off topic, but I just want to praise Trés for "Those smug people over at UC Berkeley..." LOVE IT!!!

PrincessLtrain 3 years 15 weeks

Totally off topic, but I just want to praise Trés for "Those smug people over at UC Berkeley..."LOVE IT!!!

boredgourdless 3 years 15 weeks

I used to make fun of my friends for using "we" until I got married and guess what...."I" became "we".... Guess it's just the realization that when you're committed to someone, you come together and become a unit and singular thinking for the most part falls out the window. Though I have to agree, the "we're pregnant" thing is weird.

skigurl 3 years 15 weeks

since we do lots of stuff together and live together etc. i do say it alot but only when appropriate obviously

xxstardust 3 years 15 weeks

KadBunny - I HATE the "we're pregnant" thing. No, honey, "we" aren't pregnant. We may be having a baby, but I'm the only one stuck lugging it around for 9 months! On topic .. yes, I do use "we" when the situation warrants it.

xxstardust 3 years 15 weeks

KadBunny - I HATE the "we're pregnant" thing. No, honey, "we" aren't pregnant. We may be having a baby, but I'm the only one stuck lugging it around for 9 months!On topic .. yes, I do use "we" when the situation warrants it.

KadBunny 3 years 15 weeks

I second tls; only if it's appropriate. It's one thing to say "we play video games" and another to say "we're pregnant".

lauraxtc 3 years 15 weeks

hypnoticmix 3 years 15 weeks

Yes, and at least in my experience they're absolutely right. Obviously you can't use it for every reference to what goes on in your relationships but I find that it especially comes in handy when I have an issue with something said or done so that my partner doesn't feel like I'm suggesting it's all his fault. One it keeps him from getting defensive and two there's a conversation rather than an argument. I'm all for that.