What Not to Tell a Depressed Person

What's the Last Thing You Want to Hear When You're Upset?

October 13, 2010

Good morning, sunshine! That's probably the last thing you want to hear when you wake up, but what about when you're feeling down? PsychCentral rounded up 100 of the worst pieces of advice to give a depressed person. Here are five I've heard and only served to plunge my mood into depths previously unknown. Tell me which is the last thing you'd like to hear when you're down?

35 Comments

Kaybaybayx 2 years 30 weeks

This too shall pass. Yes, yes it will. But we're in the here and now.

Carri 2 years 30 weeks

I hate when someone tries to one-up you. Can't I just have a bad day without you trying to "top" me?!

2 years 30 weeks

"Lets be mature about this",BS the last person that said that to me was was a roommate's friend that crashed for two months in our one room apartment , who stole clothes ,food as well as money. Who was also constantly binge drinking because and I quote " you don't know how hard my life is" ans well as a complete slob ( dirty underwear and empty beer cans) .

2 years 30 weeks

I like hearing "come here" and getting a hug. Sometimes talking about things just makes it worse, but hugs generally make things better. Just being held tends to mellow me out, or at least I can cry a little. And lately I've been told I need to stop being so sensitive. Because heaping further criticism upon an already fragile, overly sensitive person is a wonderful idea. Clearly.

Blue24 2 years 30 weeks

I really hate hearing "No one ever told you life was fair" because people usually say it when THEY are acting really unfair towards me...

danakscully64 2 years 30 weeks

"Everything happens for a reason" definitely tops the list. I also hate "God never gives you more than you can handle" because I'm not even religious.

jazzytummy 2 years 31 weeks

It's condescending as hell.

lwimbush 2 years 31 weeks

what's wrong with "this too shall pass?"

2 years 31 weeks

definitely CALM DOWN. just makes me more frustrated. although, i would also say "SHH" is just as high on my list of annoying things to hear whilst upset.

2 years 31 weeks

My best friend has a habit of saying "whatever, you'll get over it" when I have relationship issues. It's so annoying! If I'm upset, stop whatevering me!! Gah!

amber512 2 years 31 weeks

OMG, I HATED "no one ever said life was fair." Especially said by someone who had just told me no for no reason. And I'd ALWAYS think "well we can have an affect on that, just say yes and it'll be fair!

bransugar79 2 years 31 weeks

The one I hate the worst is "everything will get better" Or "it'll all work out in the end". I know this is probably just a personal pet peeve, but it drives me crazy. Even if everything does work out that doesn't stop me from experiencing the pain and discomfort of the situation now. Sometimes when you're in the middle of something you just need to feel bad about the situation without worrying about it getting better. It also feels like sometimes the person you are talking to is putting pressure on you, like if it doesn't magically work itself out it's just another thing that's your fault.

Vampyre 2 years 31 weeks

Get over it. That is the worst thing you can say to me when I'm upset. Saying get over it doesn't help me. It does however make me pissed off at whoever said, in addition to whatever I was upset about in the first place.

jazzytummy 2 years 31 weeks

Have personally heard and resented all of the below: Relax. It could be worse. This too shall pass. The sun shines again tomorrow. Shhhhhh... Calm down. It was/wasn't meant to be. Everything happens for a reason. It's a blessing in disguise. It's not that bad. Anyone who really knows me knows never to say "get over it" to my face.

lickety split 2 years 31 weeks

LeSigh, totally agree. And no offense to anyone, but the people who act as if they are blessed, because THEY are living in gods grace. And if only I would live that way too, well......

2 years 31 weeks

"Calm down." STFU.

katiekat95 2 years 31 weeks

The worst is when my dad says, "You should do XXXXX". Don't tell me what to do. Just listen. GEEZE.

Girl Jen 2 years 31 weeks

TheEnchantedOne, how about these: --"How can I help?" --"Do you want to talk about it, or do you want me to distract you?" --"Let's get you out of this house and go get some coffee." Those three phrases, said by friends and family, pulled me out of some horrible moods.

Studio16 2 years 31 weeks

I hate, "I think you're just upset." When I am upset, I can be a bit harsh. I was freaking out under a lot of stress last month and on top of that - my best friend was pissing me off. I was talking to a couple old teachers. These are two women who are usually more than extraordinary at giving advice. So I'm freaking out and finally I say, "I don't think I even want to be her best friend anymore." (I'm still grappling with that thought one month and a lot less stress later.) Their responses? "You don't mean that, you're just upset."

icecreamsprinkle 2 years 31 weeks

It makes me so mad when my family tells me to stop being over-dramatic. Well to them having any upset reaction at all is over-dramatic! It just makes me even angrier!

2 years 31 weeks

To stay positive. When things are really bad, it's ok to be angry or mad for awhile. It's called feelings. And if we just pretend to be positive & don't really deal with our feelings then that leads to more trouble. Not to say you should dwell on things. But don't be a robot either.

ladylove004 2 years 31 weeks

I can't stand it when my boyfriend tells me to calm down, it only makes me more angry. Plus, I am stubborn and refuse to calm down when I am told to do so.

TheEnchantedOne 2 years 31 weeks

I'm guilty of some of the things said here. This makes me think of what we should tell someone who's upset or depressed. I know silence is golden, but sometimes, people want words. Especially when they ask you things after ranting, like, "What do you think?"

HoneyBrown1976 2 years 31 weeks

"Get over it". Ugh! I hate that phrase. It seeks to disenfranchise or invalidate the feelings of a person.

LaSigh 2 years 31 weeks

I hate "God never gives you more than you can handle" I think of the people I've known in my life who have died accidentally or committed/attempted suicide and think "Really? Never more than they can handle?" it does *not* improve my mood.

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35 Comments

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