What Should I Do About My Boyfriend's Awful Friend?

"I Hate My Boyfriend's Friend"

August 3, 2012

by Tres Community 1

This question is from a Group Therapy post in our TrèsSugar Community. Add your advice in the comments!

So my boyfriend of three years is good friends with a guy that I seriously do not like; all he likes to do is drink. He has a long-distance girlfriend but has cheated on her and is just not a person I would ever associate with. What's worse is that he seems to disrespect the fact that I even exist! He asks my boyfriend to go out drinking with him and even when my boyfriend says he has plans with me, he totally talks him out of it.

I understand it's his friend and it's not my business, but how should I approach this? We hung out once or twice before and I cannot stand the guy. I feel that he is a "bad influence" on my boyfriend and I hate when they go out alone without me because he is such a scumbag. Help!!

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1 Comment

henna red 42 weeks 2 days

You don't get to choose your friend's friends, you only get to choose your own. Your boyfriend is getting something out of this relationship, and he only gets talked out of things if he wants to be talked out of them. Your boyfriend is making choices. If those choices are disrespectful to you, then that's your boyfriends' responsibility, not his friends'. Put the blame where it belongs, with your boyfriend. I absolutely believe you can make judgements about people by looking at their friends. You can see what their standards are for behavior, for acceptance, for love, for what is unacceptable. If your boyfriend has someone in his life with unacceptable behavior, and it's behavior that your boyfriend enjoys. Use your own judgement. What is it that your boyfriend gets out of hanging with a scumbag? And why does he prefer the scumbag to you? You can't choose your boyfriends' friends. You can choose your boyfriend.