About a year ago I met the perfect guy. He's sweet, smart, handsome, great in bed, full of promise, ambitious ... and very into me. Within the first month we were incredibly close and knew that each other was "the one".
About two months into our relationship, he started bothering me about my sexual past. I have always been very straight forward with him but that conversation sparked a jealous nerve that he can't seem to kick. Whenever I bring up my concerns, he calls me crazy and assures me he is only trying to make sure the woman he is marrying stays true to him.
My boyfriend has no interest in getting to know my friends and whenever we are out with a group, he often gets mad at me for speaking to other people because he says our time together is precious. He has also started calling me at odd hours of the night and he's been to showing up at my apartment unexpectedly making sure I am in fact home when I said I would be.
I have never felt so in love or connected with any man before, but I am so troubled my this behavior. We started shopping for engagement rings but I am having doubts. Am I making the right choice by being with him? I want the white picket fence and the 2.5 kids. What should I do? Creeped out Casey
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Dear Creeped out Casey
You have every right to be apprehensive about your boyfriend's behavior. Have you told him that his erratic actions are making you uneasy? Since you are shopping for rings, I would make sure to discuss everything that is bothering you about your relationship before you make a lifelong commitment to him.
It sounds as though he is having some trust issues and power struggles with you. Are you feeling unsafe by his behavior in any way? Has he threatened you or hurt you? You said you have never been so connected to anyone before, but it sounds as though there is quite a bit lacking in your communication.
His possessive and controlling behavior could be the beginning of an abusive relationship. His love could be disguising his possessiveness that actually has nothing to do with love at all. Possessive behavior stems from insecurity. These kind of relationships are filled with manipulation and jealousy which is a potentially dangerous mix.
It is very important to face these concerns as soon as possible. Ultimately you need to take a step back and decide if you want these qualities in your life partner. Eventually, you might be better off without this man in your life. Good Luck.