What Age Difference Is Too Much?

November 1, 2007

When I read the news that Ashley Olsen and Lance Armstrong were spotted out on the town, I was a little shocked. Not only do they seem like an odd couple, but there's also quite an age difference between them: She is 21, and he is 36. Do you think a 15-year age difference in a relationship is too big? If not, what age difference is too large?

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95 Comments

2 years 39 weeks

Obviously it really depends on the people involved. No adult teen pairings, even if it’s the late teens should be undertaken. And nobody old enough to have parented you from both a biological and a social standpoint. What I mean by that is Demi Moore is technically old enough to be Ashton Kutcher’s mom, but socially most people in this society don’t have kids at 15. Still, for my tastes fifteen years older or younger is pushing it. My own father is 19 years older than me. I would say that ten years is probably the most years that is less frowned upon and at which both will have more cultural touchstones in common. For instance, my beloved and I are ten years apart and both Gen-Xers so we totally have the eighties in common. Our experiences were a little different but I was old enough to remember! I always find it shocking when somebody is with someone who is their parent’s age or with someone young enough to be their own child.

2 years 42 weeks

Well I am 18 years old and my boyfriend is 28 years old and we get along very well. We don't care about age difference and we are on the same level. That's what important. There is so much more than age. And it is not true to say that older guys are with younger girl just for sex. Guys my age that I was dating had more this attitude than my boyfriend. But it's not good to stereotype. It really depends of the person. I also meet a couple of 27/40. 13 years difference and there my model because they were sooo happy together.

2 years 51 weeks

I am 21 and like a 41 year old more for someone to talk to and cuddle with than anything,it seemed kinda odd at first since they're old enough to be my parent but hey love knows no age limit.

3 years 3 weeks

Age is just a number - it's how well you fit together emotionally and intellectually that counts.

annonymous chik 3 years 12 weeks

im only 18 and with a 31 one year old and we real happy going on one year now so im not one to judge

annonymous chik 3 years 12 weeks

age just a number. if your legal and up for it then whos to stop u

3 years 31 weeks

I am 25 and always liked dating oder, aside from my high school relationship with two boys my age I have never been with the guy my age or within a 7 year age range. Even when I was early 20s I liked them at least 30 and up and thera are no daddy issues, I have the most perfect parents. They are just mature, know their way around a woman, dont say things like "dude, that's freaking awesome" (that stuff makes my cringe attraction wise). It's the matter of preference, if you preffer a night of bowling and bears to a dinner and a concert than younger would be better. Besides there is something disturbing about a guy you are on date with asking to split the bill which does not happen with older men, but is common with guys your age/before 30. Sometimes I feel compelled to pay for my partner, just because I feel so overwhelmed with passion and warmth for him. so its not the money, but the fact itself that matter. Generally I like educated New York corporate types and not because of their status, although I dont want to be with a college drop out, but because they are educated, determined and have their sea legs found in this life.

3 years 36 weeks

I don't think any difference is too big. I'm 19 and I'm with a guy who is 34 so we have a 15 year age difference. Neither of us want/have children so it's not a big deal in that regard.

3 years 44 weeks

i'm 20 years old and my boyfriend is 39. sometimes i worry about our age difference, but we do look good together, you cant see the age difference, every one says he looks 23, if i tell some one he's 23 or 24 they never say anything about him looking older. Ive actually had people say that he cant be 39. not that any of that makes it right, im just saying. Also he doesn't act like an "old man" or whatever. i know that he really and truly loves me and cares for me, but some times i still trip on how old he is and i think about the future and how he will age before me, but i just block the negative out....i would like to know some REAL advice about our age difference and what you think.

kh61582 5 years 28 weeks

I have always been interested in older men. I'm 22 and i can't fathom finding someone worth dating whose younger than 35. I just don't like the way younger guys dress or how they act. I don't feel that it's gross. I'm a little disturbed about anybody dating one of the Olsen girls because they look like aliens but the age differences in and of itself doesn't bother me. No age difference is too big. it depends on the people. I'm 22 if I were to date someone who was 53 for me that's fine because I have the maturity to handle it. Most 22 year old girls are too immature and superficial. it's all about whether you have the maturity to understand that a relationship with an age difference is going to be different and you're going to deal with some ridicule but if you care for the person and you can handle it then who cares as long as you're happy.

kh61582 5 years 28 weeks

cloeyxd 5 years 28 weeks

Half the eldest persons age and then add 7. That's the lowest they should be dating at. >_> Or at least, that's how I learnt it. ^_^ It's just a silly little rule, I guess it just depends on the maturity of each person. :)

cloeyxd 5 years 28 weeks

Half the eldest persons age and then add 7. That's the lowest they should be dating at. >_> Or at least, that's how I learnt it. ^_^It's just a silly little rule, I guess it just depends on the maturity of each person. :)

megln1022 5 years 28 weeks

i think its hard to say. my grandparents were 15 years apart and happily married. i'd have a hard time with much over 5 years. however my last bf was 5 years older than me and turned out to be way less mature- so the age part wasn't the factor. i agree with one comment above in that the ages you are makes a difference too. when a person is in their early 20s and dating someone mid 30s- they are at very different places in life (he's divorced with a few kids!) but when you are in your mid 30s dating someone in their late 40s say, there might not be as many differences at all. so really- who is to say what is good! in their case here though- as someone pointed out, since she's grown up in the public eye and still thought of as a kid practically- its hard to picture her with him!

megln1022 5 years 28 weeks

i think its hard to say. my grandparents were 15 years apart and happily married. i'd have a hard time with much over 5 years. however my last bf was 5 years older than me and turned out to be way less mature- so the age part wasn't the factor. i agree with one comment above in that the ages you are makes a difference too. when a person is in their early 20s and dating someone mid 30s- they are at very different places in life (he's divorced with a few kids!) but when you are in your mid 30s dating someone in their late 40s say, there might not be as many differences at all. so really- who is to say what is good!in their case here though- as someone pointed out, since she's grown up in the public eye and still thought of as a kid practically- its hard to picture her with him!

KristinDaBomb 5 years 28 weeks

I think over 20 years. Like if you are 20 and your guy is 60 or so.

punjabibyotch 5 years 28 weeks

My boyfriend of three years is 7 years older than me, so i'd say anything more than 10 years

tagen22 5 years 28 weeks

I think the only age difference that gets insanely creepy is like Anna Nicole Smith and what's his name.. that 90-year-old dude. If you're young and vivacious and the guy you're dating should be a nursing home then it's a bit much. But I've dated someone 28 years older than me, and it was fabulous. I would love to go out with Robert Redford and he's like 40 something years older than me.. so who knows. If you connect, go for it. :)

remedios 5 years 28 weeks

It's relative to the age the people are at the time. 15 years between a 10 year old and a 25 year old is very different (obviously) than 15 years between a 50 year old and a 65 year old. There's no clear cut line for everyone. It depends on their maturity, life experiences, interests, etc. A 36 year old that likes to go out a lot might have more in common with a 21 year old than someone closer in age.

kkane 5 years 28 weeks

there is a 14/15 year difference between me and my boyfriend. I am 36, He is 51. However I dont think there is a better man for me anywhere on this planet. My ex husband was 10/11 years older, and it totally didnt work. He was actually too 'parental'. My boyfriend, being older, is actually 'younger' than my ex. So i think its really individual, about personalities. That being said, its a bit weird in some ways- he has grandchildren who are 4 and 5 and my own kids are 6 and 9. He has had to 'start over' with mine. It caused some problems at first, he has gone from complete freedom to do anything and go anywhere, to being bound by them somewhat(helps a bit my ex and i have shared custody so we get a fair amount of couple time). Its about love, and for him to make some sacrifices just reinforces to me how he feels. I do have to say however, that as I truly believe this is the only man i have ever loved (or will), i do get scared thinking i might be alone for a while (way down the road). So we are living in the now i guess. Bear with me, but i should add that my 'neice in law' who is 15, is seeing a man who is 26, and i dont agree with it at all. it may sound hypocritical, but i think that she is far too young for that. So am agreeing with others here that a big age difference can matter depending on the age of the youngest person in the relationship. as for lance and ashley- its ok i think, she is more grown up than most would be at her age i suspect.

kkane 5 years 28 weeks

georgie 5 years 28 weeks

I feel that the age difference matters less as you get older...

pink_magnetism 5 years 28 weeks

I think it depends more on where the people are in life and if they're compatable, rather than the number of years between them.

anaid 5 years 28 weeks

I tend to fall for older guys, but I put my cap at 10 years older than me (the man I've loved most was 8 years older than me). I don't think age matters too much. I put a limit on myself because its my preference but concerning other people it doesn't make a difference to me. Love is love!

LauraRogers 5 years 28 weeks

Age diff. alone says nothing. I know incredibly immature 50-year-olds, I know incredibly mature 21-year-olds. If they are at the same place in their lives and the same maturity level, why not? Isn't it interesting, though, how we most often see older man-younger woman pairings? I wonder why that is?

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