A teacher started soliciting student bloopers from science teachers around the world. Here are some of the goofiest:
1. "When you breathe, you inspire. When you do not breathe, you expire."
2. "H2O is hot water, and CO2 is cold water."
3. "When you smell an odorless gas, it is probably carbon monoxide."
4. "Water is composed of two gins, Oxygin and Hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is gin and water."
5. "Three kinds of blood vessels are arteries, vanes and caterpillars."
6. "Mushrooms always grow in damp places and so they look like umbrellas."
7. "The pistol of a flower is its only protections agenst insects."
8. "Momentum: What you give a person when they are going away."
9. "Planet: A body of Earth surrounded by sky."
10. "For a nosebleed: Put the nose much lower then the body until the heart stops."
Bonus Blooper: "To prevent contraception: wear a condominium."