Wedding Day Blues

Couldn't agree more. That's almost as bad as the Friday evening wedding I had last summer. Friday evening, out on Long Island, in the summer? Yeah, good LUCK getting to the church by 4:00.

I'm not a fan of Sunday either. I know a lot of churches won't even perform weddings on Sundays (seeing that they have their regular service schedule they have to follow).

Almost as bad as the Thursday afternoon wedding I have in Aruba this march! Which basically means I have to book a whole week off for! Not even a thank you for showing up on a sunday night in their speech? maybe a "the hall cost 50% less on a sunday before a holiday" what's the deal?

I voted no. You always have the choice of declining the invitation if the time and/or place is inconvenient for you.

If they're trying to save money by having the wedding at an off time, that's their prerogative.

I am not a fan of the Sunday wedding. I've only been to one, and it was quite inconvenient.

Thelostplum - a Thursday? Really?? Ok, that is just as bad, maybe worse!

you don't have to go if you don't want to. it's their wedding! they might have done sunday because monday was a national holiday.

the three-week notice is something to be more annoyed with than what day of the week it was. although, if they didn't have much time to plan the wedding, they probably couldn't get a hall on a saturday, or maybe even on a friday.

chfbrian - oh I remember when you went to that wedding. I always thought that was a strange time to have a wedding, especially when your guest would struggle to get there on time.

sy - I thought that too when I realized it was on a Sunday. I kept wondering if they were going to cram it inbetween the 11:00 AM and evening services. (Which they did.)

lostplum - Thursday? In Aruba? Oy. I still don't know how I feel about destination weddings. I'm sure I could write a whole other post about them.

sweetpeabrina - I can understand what you are saying. But I just think the bride and groom should also take into consideration what their guest might have to do to get to the wedding. Especially if they want people to show up at their wedding!

Martini - This was my first Sunday wedding. I've been to a Friday night wedding, which wasn't too bad, but I still prefer the Saturday wedding.

Anon - like I said, there are always cultural considerations, and that's fine. And it seems like in Singapore and Japan, they do it that way in consideration of the guests. Which is cool.

Opinion 1: the bride and groom are planning their wedding the way they want to and are under no obligation to consider what is most convenient for you

Opinion 2: who do you think you are that your wedding is more important than (albeit a made up) holiday? this mostly bugs me with people who get married on long holiday weekends (Memorial Day, 4th of July)... I get a day off of work and I have to go spend it focusing on you?

I have to say I had two Friday weddings last year and they were both an inconvenience. The one, both my husband and I had to miss 2 days of work because we had to travel 8 hours on Thursday to get to the wedding. And when it's a close family member, it is not an option to miss the wedding without thoroughly pissing off all family members.

The second was held an hour away so we only missed Friday. The wedding was at a horse farm out in the middle of nowhere - which meant the bride had to get ready in the city. Traffic was so bad, that the bride arrived over an hour late for her own wedding.

Needless to say I'm not a fan of weddings that require people to travel held on days when people must miss work to attend.

I think it's rude to complain about what day the couple are suppose to gear married. If you do not like the day, get over it or go away. It is bride and groom's choice, whether the day is special to them or whether they are trying to save money. Don't be ungrateful. I'm sure they don't want you there if the only thing you are going to remember is how long of a drive it was or how inconvenient it was for you to be there.

Unless you are an immediate relative of the bride/groom or someone actually in the wedding, I don't think you have the right to complain.

Hey now, I bet savvy sugar might have a different take on this. My finance and I are currently planning our wedding and our venue lowered its food/drink minimum by $5,000 if we have it on a Friday or a Sunday instead of Saturday. Sorry guys, its just a real no brainier....

our wedding was on a sunday morning. We wouldn't have been able to afford our venue otherwise. So would you rather go on a Sunday or eat crappy food?

I think, with all respect, that someone else's wedding is not about you. If you don't want to go, don't. And, if your family is giving you static, set some boundaries.

I'd call this complaining selfish and petty, but as I was doing it I'm reminded of all the complaining I did before my last baby shower. My Gods do I dislike children and all parental narcissism surrounding them - so I do understand the emotion.

I vote 'no'. You have the option of declining. Plus, cost wise, Sunday weddings are so much less expensive...

Yes, Saturday weddings are more convenient (and I agree, much more fun) - but they are EXPONENTIALLY more expensive. I've been in catering basically my entire life, and it's simply common practice in the industry to mark up prices for a Saturday event (not just weddings, any event) by as much as 30% or 40%. For the record, prices also are raised across the board during "wedding season" - May, June and September. So if you want a Saturday wedding, perhaps try October or April?

That said, I'd hands down take a Friday wedding over a Sunday wedding - at least I don't have to get up the next morning!

I think Friday (and Thursday!) weddings are more troublesome than Sunday weddings. If someone gets married on a Friday I have to take off work to give myself enough time to go home, get ready, and make it to the wedding.

I guess the reason it bugs me is I was going to have a destination wedding (not really, i wanted to get married in Charlotte where I lived, when our families were from PA). My family is poor and could not afford to travel so I went ahead and had a wedding that both of the families could make it to. I'm just bitter because I hated that I couldn't have my wedding the way I wanted it if I wanted my family to be able to attend. (You simply cannot ask families who are living on $30,000 a year to have to travel 8 hours and pay $100+ a night for hotel. They barely make ends meet as it is.)

And regarding the whole taking a day off work - my vacation is acrual - meaning I have to work 2 months before I earn a day off. I don't get 2 weeks at the beginning of the year that I can use whenever I feel like it. I had barely accrued the days off when I had to use them on the weddings and went back to having to start all over on accruing my vacation days.

My guess is that if you are complaining about attending a Sunday wedding or even a Friday wedding that you have not ever had to plan your own wedding. There are only so many Saturdays in a year and an even limited number of desirable ones when you factor in holidays, long weekends, weather...etc. When those Saturdays are booked, they're booked!

The bride and the groom are doing the best that they can do. It's not like they are saying "Ha, ha ha, let's screw our guests and make it as inconvenient as possible!" They found a location that they loved and the perfect place for their special day.

I can go on and on with reasons to justify Friday and Sunday weddings, but really...I think the bigger question is how much you truly support this couple? I'd travel through hell, storming seas and frigid snow to be a part of my very best friend's special day. If you don't feel the same then next time decline.

i think Friday is just as bad if not worse than Sunday!! you definitely 100% would have to take time off work to get to a Friday wedding (especially if it was 3 hours away) - technically you could leave early and drive home on a Sunday night after the ceremony if you needed to go to work on the Monday

(for me, i'd take the excuse to take a few holiday days at work but not everyone has that luxury) - so yes, i think some people are inconsiderate and i find it tacky to make your wedding a Sunday just so it can be valentine's day...have you ever thought that other people might want to actually spend valentines day with their lover, not watching you get married to yours?

Wow, I'm totally shocked by some of these responses! I think considering the costs of weddings these days, sometimes paying 100 per head or more, it's a BIG deal to be invited to a wedding, a very special thing. But a lot of you are acting like you're doing the bride and groom some huge favor by just showing up?!

I think it's their prerogative to do whatever they would like on their special day, and if you don't like it, don't come! If you are really that ungrateful to be invited to such a special (and expensive) event, you don't deserve to be there, geez!

I have to agree with those who say this is no big deal. I'm sure the couple saved a ton of money by getting married on a Sunday instead of a Saturday. And, it's possible that they were thinking that a lot of people didn't have to work on Monday since it was President's Day.

I also agree with those who said that it's more annoying for someone to have a wedding on a Friday, since that is a day that people typically work. Either way, though, I would be happy and honored to be invited to someone's wedding!

Annoying? Sure. But you always have the option of not attending the wedding!

My only problem with this situation (or any unique time, destination, etc. wedding) is when the bride and groom get upset when you don't go. If you want an unconventional time or place that's fine, but you have to understand that not everyone is going to be able to make it.

as someone in the early wedding planning stages, perhaps i can offer some perspective. from the second you announce that you are getting married, people come at you with requests and complaints. things like "just don't have a wedding in may, work is too busy for me," or "don't get a chocolate cake, i hate chocolate," and even "if you have it in that city, i will have to drive too far, can you pick someplace closer to me?" the bottom line is that you can't please everyone. while one guest may have to drive 3 hours, there might be 20 others who are within 5 minutes. for one person who is too busy in may, there may be another who will only be available in may. to call a bride and groom inconsiderate for failing to find the perfect time and place for each individual guest is unreasonable.

having it on a sunday may save the bride and groom money but it's costing every one of their guests a day of work...

anyway, if you plan to have a quiet wedding and don't want anyone to get drunk, have it on a sunday...but if you're like me and you want everyone to have a great time and want a big party which is fun and people are letting loose, you best be having it on a saturday so everyone can make it on time, be relaxed, can stay out til 3:00am, and will have the whole next day to sleep!

I can't believe no one's mentioned the obvious here -- that Mon 2/15 (of the wedding weekend in question) was Presidents' Day. This is a work holiday for a lot of people (not all, I know, but many). Honestly, the wedded couple probably thought that they were being considerate by trying to schedule their event over a typically long weekend to allow people a buffer to travel.

When you're planning a large event like this (wedding or any other!), it's very difficult to take every invited guests schedules and preferences into consideration. You just have to go for what you can swing and hope your guests can make it. I've had to decline wedding invites based on timing, and it's really not a big deal. Also, my feelings weren't hurt when some invited friends couldn't make it to my wedding. Life happens, and you just have to work it accordingly.

kpeazy, couldn't have said it better. Completely agree.
I had close family members who could not attend my wedding (on a Saturday), so no matter what you do not everyone will be there.

Sunday weddings are cheaper, that's why.

Most weddings have a reasonable number of guests: both sides of the family, friends, guests that live out of town... I know a lot of people who don't even follow a M-F schedule. The couple cannot cater to everyone's needs. This is why I plan to elope. No planning around other people necessary.

Wow, you need to get over it. When you get married, then you can decide which day of the week the wedding is on.

While I understand the inconvinience of attending a Sunday wedding, this day is NOT about the guests, it's about the bride and groom, and if you care deeply for either you will get over it and attend. And if it's really that much of an issue, just decline. The bride and groom have better things to think about than the one person who decided their lives were more important than them on their big day.

My wedding is on a Sunday - that's not what I wanted but the venue was booked every Sat that month. I had to take what I could get. My out of town guests are still coming, because they are my true friends and family.

I agree with amelioratelj 100%. It might be annoying sure and I'd grumble in the morning, but weddings are not only expensive but absolutely special. God I would be crushed if one of my guests were secretly annoyed with my wedding.

I'm with the camp that says get over it. The wedding is about the couple, not about the guests. If the timing and driving distance was an issue, leave early. Set that boundary, and be truthful and polite about it.

so you're saying that the only acceptable day of week to hold the wedding is saturday. since friday also brings inconvenience for those who have to work during the day and may not have time to make it for your ceremony and/or reception... grow up! the wedding is about the couple and a celebration of their union. not you or any of the guests for that matter. if you find their celebration inconvenient and annoying, then i don't care how "close" you may be, you're always in a position to decline.

IMO it's not something to get my panties in a bunch over. If a wedding is planned ahead with plenty of time for guests to make arrangements then it's up to you to decide whether or not you can do it or not. If you can't send them a lovely gift and a thoughtful card and call it a day. The day is about them and how they want to do it if that's not something you can handle with out emotional regret you shouldn't do it.

I have no idea what your circumstances were at the time but if I were in your time I would have used a little accrued time and taken the next morning off from work. Or talked to my boss well in advance if time availed it self that way and made arrangements. All they can do is say yes or no.

*in your shoes......

Sunday and weekday weddings are half price. Often times the only way a couple can afford a wedding is if it on a weekday, plus people don't drink as much on those days. It's their wedding. If you don't want to go, don't go and just send a gift.

It's only one day out of the year.

I'm kind of on the fence about this, but I just wanted to contribute the fun fact that I knew a girl who had her wedding the night before Thanksgiving. How's THAT for inconsiderate?

I actually just went to a wedding myself this past Sunday, Feb 14th. But, Monday was a holiday for Presidents day!!! It was a destination wedding, and spending a 3 day weekend at a great location with family/friends was fantastic. I'm sure the couple here also took the Monday holiday into consideration when planning their wedding.

wow. someone took the time and money to include you on one of the most important days of their life, and you're complaining about it? get over yourself. its not about you, its about them. if its inconvenient dont go. they probably expected lots of people to decline due to the holiday anyway.

I'm married, and the #1 most important thing to me about my wedding was that it was on a Saturday. I think it is rude to have your wedding on a Friday or Sunday, or hey...a MONDAY, which I have now been invited to 2 Monday weddings. I'm sorry, but if you want people to go, you will have it on a Saturday. If you don't care, why have all the hoopla anyway? Just elope or go to City Hall and call it a day. There's a reason you have food, drinks and entertainment. If it was just about a ceremony, there would just be a ceremony. But guess what? All that other stuff is for your guests. So, to make them take time off work or school, shell out extra for travelling, I think it's rude.

I do agree though, that you can always just not attend, but I know how personally a couple can take that. I also agree that you will travel/take time off if the couple is very important to you, which I have done as well. I just think in general, it is most convenient and appreciated to have your wedding on a Saturday.

I think everyone is getting way too wrapped up in their own opinions. I don't think that any couple would intentionally make things inconvenient for their guests. You cannot make assumptions on why they selected a particular date or time.

I wish more people would have the attitude that the wedding day is about the couple! Just be open minded about it! Ugh. I am so sick of hearing people complain about weddings.

boo hoo inconvience for you. then dont go or actually make plans around the wedding ahead of time.. i wouldnt want someone like you comming to my wedding if you would end up complaining about what day i would choose.

I think having an evening Sunday wedding on a normal weekend is bad planning, you'd exclude a lot of people or inconvenience guests. But a Sunday wedding on a long holiday weekend...well, that's not too bad.

What's the big deal, Monday was a holiday. I think its worse that it was on Valentine's day then that it was in the middle of a 3 day weekend.

I had friends that got married the saturday after Thanksgiving, what a way to throw a wrench in my 4 day weekend, and make me travel on the most expensive/busiest travel weekend of the year.

I respect your right to vent, we all do it. With that sad....

People seem to think that a wedding is all about the guests. It's not. You get a save the date and then an invitation well in advance, if you don't want to go then don't go! You'd be doing the bride and groom a favor, since I'm sure they only want to have people at their wedding that are really happy to be there celebrating their union.

I'm on Team Any Day of The Week, I Appreciate the Invite Especially now with money being tight, I completely understand a couple choosing a Sunday or even a Friday wedding. Really, the bride and groom aren't TRYING to make things difficult for their guests, but they're doing the best they can do. If you really can't go, don't.

I'm not a fan of holiday weddings though (V-Day/Presidents Day isn't a huge deal). Often the guests who are flying in or staying in hotels have to pay WAY more than average, sometimes more than double. My guy's cousin decided to get married on Mother's Day, then decided to move it to Memorial Day weekend (my birthday was that Monday). The airport was nuts and my guy had to pay about $200 more for his flight. His Aunt and Uncle own a hotel, so he didn't have to pay for that, but it would have been a lot (car rental too). The crazy airports caused lots of delays on Monday and he didn't make it home until 9pm, missed my whole birthday. Overall, bad idea if you know people are flying in (strapped for cash), it just costs a heck of a lot more for them and they may get delayed at the airport.

To all those who are commenting on the cost difference between Saturday and Sunday weddings- guess what else is expensive- wedding, shower AND bachlorette gifts, dresses (if you are a bridesmaid), travel and hotel rooms, and missing a day of work. This is especially true if you are getting married at 20. You must be aware that your friends are just starting out and don't have a lot of extra cash, so don't expect them to bankrupt themselves for your special day.

I personally don't understand the point of getting 3 gifts for the bride and groom. I've honestly never been to a shower AND bachlorette party, I think it would be a bit much if the bride and groom expected gifts at all 3.

Really though, with a Sunday wedding, the guests maybe take one day off if they have to travel (unless the Sunday wedding is in the morning/early afternoon and you can get a flight at night), but doesn't that apply to many Saturday weddings too? I know people who flew in for events who had to leave Friday morning or afternoon to get there on time to get a hotel to drop off their things so they could get sleep before the wedding the next morning. Sunday makes as much sense as a Saturday wedding. With a Sunday wedding, you have Saturday to travel in. With Saturday, you have Friday. I wouldn't mind flying in for a Sunday wedding.