Tufts to Dorm Dwellers: Get a Room!

September 29, 2009

Tufts University has just instituted a policy you'd think wouldn't need to be an official rule: don't have sex in your dorm room while your roommate's present, and don't "sexile" (sex + exile) your roommate, say at 3 a.m., because you want to get it on with your college sweetheart (or random hookup). So basically, if you're dwelling in a dorm, either have enough money to get a hotel room, find a comfy broom closet if passion strikes, or go without.

The Tufts policy arose because students were complaining that their horny roommates were intruding on their privacy and interfering with their studies by either having sex while they were present (ewww!) or asking them to leave for a few minutes. I am so glad I never stayed in a dorm — I just moved in with the boyfriend when I was in college! Problem solved.

How was dorm sex negotiated when you were in college?

27 Comments

lawdawg08 3 years 32 weeks

Wow, ella that sucks. Yeah i lived on campus for two years, but luckily my roommate was gay and I had a single my second year. It does suck though, I mean one girl was so loud that you could hear her on our side. And a lot of girls would either have to listen to their roommates have sex or get kicked out. I guess it could be a good rule but i also see the other side of the coin.

ella1978 3 years 33 weeks

My freshman roommate was on the bottom bunk and her BF practially lived there on weekends. They would have sex on the bottom bunk when I was asleep ALL the time. It was rude and gross. My sophomore year, I was seeing a guy, who my roommate decided to steal away from me, and I walked in one day to find them "together" on the floor of our dorm room. Lovely experiences, eh?

ella1978 3 years 33 weeks

hypnoticmix 3 years 33 weeks

First of all I find it outrageous that any one would ask any one to leave their home so that they can have sex. I have a friend who did that to his room mate and they lived in a two bedroom apartment. I told her she was out of mind for leaving. She ended up moving out shortly after but that was just stupid on both their parts. As for the situation at Tufts University my response to them would be let's not throw out the baby with the bath water. IMO the problem is communication between students/room mates not ramped sex. First of all never leave your home so that some one can have sex if you don't want to. Simply tell them you know my schedule if you want to have sex do it when I'm not here and just so I don't walk in on you send me a text or call me and let me know you'll have company for about an hour or what ever. This is something that can very easily be negotiated between two room mates but rather than foster communication which is a good interpersonal skill the University chose to be intellectually lazy and impose an unrealistic rule.

hypnoticmix 3 years 33 weeks

brielleblonde 3 years 33 weeks

i also think it's important to live in the dorms your first year. I can't imagine meeting people in just your classes. The majority of my best friends from college are girls that lived in my halls and we became inseparable.As with sex in the dorms, unless you are extremely anti-social and live in your room, there really shouldn't be a problem. I lucked out because my boyfriend was a year older and lived off campus, and my roommate was able to have guys over when ever I was out... but for my friends, they just would chill in our room or other rooms if their roommate was hooking up. or they would go out with friends or watev. There really wasn't an issue. Plus isn't living in the dorms another learning experience on how to deal with new people?

brielleblonde 3 years 33 weeks

i also think it's important to live in the dorms your first year. I can't imagine meeting people in just your classes. The majority of my best friends from college are girls that lived in my halls and we became inseparable. As with sex in the dorms, unless you are extremely anti-social and live in your room, there really shouldn't be a problem. I lucked out because my boyfriend was a year older and lived off campus, and my roommate was able to have guys over when ever I was out... but for my friends, they just would chill in our room or other rooms if their roommate was hooking up. or they would go out with friends or watev. There really wasn't an issue. Plus isn't living in the dorms another learning experience on how to deal with new people?

3 years 33 weeks

I think it's important to stay in the dorm your first year. ALL of my closest girlfriends now (well over a decade later) are the girls I lived with that year. I was fortunate in that my actual roommate lived in the next town over and went home every weekend. I just saved the "romance" until then. The other girls just hung something on the door knob and then went to the communal space an hour later to give the roomie the "all-clear". If an out-of-town boy was coming over, we'd make arrangements in advance for the affected roommate to stay with one of the other gals for the weekend. (Usually me since my roommate was always gone on the weekends and I thusly had an extra bed--sleeping bag on top and bring your own pillow so L never had to worry about people actually sleeping IN her sheets and we always asked first). It can all be worked out just by using a little common courtesy. It's really sad that they had to make a RULE about it.

3 years 34 weeks

This makes me happy. I had a horrible roommate who kicked me out one night because her out of town b/f came to visit. I unfortunately didn't have the balls to say no.

MissSushi 3 years 34 weeks

My husbands college didn't allow freshmen to live off campus unless they were living with family within easy commuting distance, and you had to have proof, so there was a TON of this going on, and most people were just having sex with their roomates in the room, half the time awake. Eek, totally inappropriate to me.

mix tape 3 years 34 weeks

I lived in dorms my freshman year and never had a problem with this. My roommate and I didn't really have to resort to having sex in our bunk beds because both of our boyfriends had apartments so we'd just go over there. I can see how this would be a problem if a roommate didn't have another place to go to, but just figure out a way to let the other person living with you know that something is about to happen. If they can't leave or you can't find another place to have sex just don't do it! Try cars or the library haha.

hiptobesquare 3 years 34 weeks

i only had a roommate in the room my freshman year and didn't really date anyone that year. after i graduated, my boyfriend had a roommate, so when I visited it was pretty awkward, but the roommate was pretty chill - the sexual part wasn't that bad, it was more when my boyfriend and I would have an argument and have nowhere to go.

lilkimbo 3 years 34 weeks

Of course college serves different purposes for different people, but, like I said, living on campus was important to me.

lilkimbo 3 years 34 weeks

Of course college serves different purposes for different people, but, like I said, living on campus was important <b>to me</b>.

dani17731 3 years 34 weeks

You sound like my dad lilkimbo. :) He said I needed to live on campus to get the "full college experience", whatever that is. For some people, I get it. But I had already been working for 4 years, bought my own car and me and my mom were like roommates anyway. But as far as sex in a shared room, it's just rude. Go back to your partner's room or get a hotel.

dani17731 3 years 34 weeks

You sound like my dad lilkimbo. :) He said I needed to live on campus to get the "full college experience", whatever that is. For some people, I get it. But I had already been working for 4 years, bought my own car and me and my mom were like roommates anyway.But as far as sex in a shared room, it's just rude. Go back to your partner's room or get a hotel.

staple salad 3 years 34 weeks

My boyfriend and I both had doubles for the last two years. The first year wasn't so bad, because his roommate's girlfriend had a single for a while, so it was almost as if my boyfriend had a single. The second year sucked, because he and his roommate never established a "word" or anything, and my roommate, while she was one of my best friends, NEVER seemed to leave the room, and wasn't even doing anything important, just playing World of Warcraft. That was a really frustrating year. Though, this year my boyfriend and I both have singles. Which is nice. Though, he's technically working whenever he's in his room (and some of his residents, who have "Ladies Welcome" written on their door, were upset by me being in my boyfriends room, with the door open most of the time (except when his back hurt and he needed a back rub), watching cartoons. Seriously. I've heard horror stories, but... I'm not sure if I like this rule the Tufts is trying to impose. Not because I like sex too much, but because the people who would have sex with their roommate in the room, or sexile their roommate at horrible hours/for a long time will just go to the common areas to go at it (like the lounge couches, bathrooms, practice rooms, study rooms, etc), which... is kinda nasty.

staple salad 3 years 34 weeks

My boyfriend and I both had doubles for the last two years. The first year wasn't so bad, because his roommate's girlfriend had a single for a while, so it was almost as if my boyfriend had a single. The second year sucked, because he and his roommate never established a "word" or anything, and my roommate, while she was one of my best friends, NEVER seemed to leave the room, and wasn't even doing anything important, just playing World of Warcraft. That was a really frustrating year. Though, this year my boyfriend and I both have singles. Which is nice. Though, he's technically working whenever he's in his room (and some of his residents, who have "Ladies Welcome" written on their door, were upset by me being in my boyfriends room, with the door open most of the time (except when his back hurt and he needed a back rub), watching cartoons. Seriously.I've heard horror stories, but... I'm not sure if I like this rule the Tufts is trying to impose. Not because I like sex too much, but because the people who would have sex with their roommate in the room, or sexile their roommate at horrible hours/for a long time will just go to the common areas to go at it (like the lounge couches, bathrooms, practice rooms, study rooms, etc), which... is kinda nasty.

tlsgirl 3 years 34 weeks

I had a single, as did my boyfriend. Thank god.

3 years 34 weeks

Finally! People need to learn some manners and it's good to see a University take this seriously for once. Good for Tufts.

3 years 34 weeks

Finally! People need to learn manners and I'm glad that at least ONE university is taking this seriously.

mamasitamalita 3 years 34 weeks

hahaha skigurl. I remember hearing my suitemate shower at 3 am once, and then blow dry her hair... she was going out to see a booty call.

skigurl 3 years 34 weeks

i had my own room and shared only a bathroom...the awkward part was when the shower would run at 3am...but technically you couldn't prove two people were in there...

lilkimbo 3 years 34 weeks

Hmmm...I kept myself sane, avoided drama, and graduated college with 2 majors and 2 minors and I lived in a dorm my freshman year. To me, those who don't live in a dorm at least for a little while are missing out on a huge part of the college experience, but that's just my opinion. I guess friendship/companionship was an important part of the college experience to me, as well, and I saw living in a dorm as conducive in advancing in those areas. Personally, I think living in a single room in a dorm is a great option, but again, that's just me.Anyway, I digress. I honestly sometimes forget there are such rude people in this world. I mean, seriously?

lilkimbo 3 years 34 weeks

Hmmm...I kept myself sane, avoided drama, and graduated college with 2 majors and 2 minors and I lived in a dorm my freshman year. To me, those who don't live in a dorm at least for a little while are missing out on a huge part of the college experience, but that's just my opinion. I guess friendship/companionship was an important part of the college experience to me, as well, and I saw living in a dorm as conducive in advancing in those areas. Personally, I think living in a single room in a dorm is a great option, but again, that's just me. Anyway, I digress. I honestly sometimes forget there are such rude people in this world. I mean, seriously?

Link Love

27 Comments

You Might Also Like