Well, when my husband first called me after I gave him my phone number I didn't answer because I was on two other dates that weekend. I totally blew him off.

I knew right away that he was someone important, but I didn't know I'd marry him right away. He said "I love you first," which scared me. But, I'd say after a month with him I knew I'd marry him. And I did!

You do really know when there's "the one." If the conversation is forced at all on a first date, you shouldn't marry them.

Oh, it's true. I am not married yet, and I am in no hurry...but oddly enough, we had another marriage conversation the other day. We are positive we'll be married, I mean, we want to be. I knew he was the one within seconds. It was unbelievable. We were barely friends, and I thought he was a sexy, and cocky, and a lot like me...then, boom. I fell hard. We were together the day after the 5th time we ever spoke or something. After a month, I knew we'd always be together. It's nearly 3 years, and an unofficial impending marriage is in the future.

It doesn't take years and years to figure out if this one guy is the right guy for you. You will know.

i agree with that statement 100 %

I believe it's true for a lot of people,but not for someone like me.

Not to burst you guys' bubble, but if people just "know", why do half of marriages end in divorce? Maybe they "knew" wrong?

I guess if you eliminate half of the people who marry, and ask the ones that are still together, then they all just "knew".

Don't mean to be a fly in the ointment here, but that statement implies that love is something you feel quickly and easily with no doubt. I believe real love takes time, and sometimes there is doubt, but it makes you ask the tough questions, the questions you need answers to before taking the plunge into marital bliss.

I personally have "just known" three times, luckily no marriage, but the feeling was intense. None of these relationships worked out, so I have definitely changed the way I approach things.

Yes, I knew.

Look, some people divorce, others don't. There is no way to predict what category you will eventually fall in. Some relationships end, others do not...and they blossom into marriage, or blossom into a love that lasts a lifetime (without marriage). Real love does take time, which is why people like me and I assume spacekatgal stayed in their damn relationships for a while and THEN decided to get married. It's not as if sh*t happened on a whim. Maybe you can feel like you "just know"...which may have something to do with the fact that there are lots of people we can be compatible with, just not for the long term.

And ending a marriage does not mean your love was not real. Some people give up on their spouse, some people give up on themselves. Some people lose children which tears them apart, some people have suffered another trauma that impacts their marriages. They didn't know wrong, but sh*t happens. People change. Things go wrong all the time. Not all of it is because the people suck at being together.

No. When I met my boyfriend I thought I knew. We even picked out rings, moved in together, talked to our families about a wedding. A he wound up to be a total douche and now I'm trying to find another place to live which is very stressful.

You hit the nail on the head Christine. Think with your heart but use your head.

It didn't work out with three people, JT? But you're so spirited in giving people all kinds of advice in the group therapy section of TresSugar! You just need someone that appreciates your "tough love," as you call it.

Whoooooa, I thought Emily Blunt was still dating Michael Buble! Where have I been?

lol @ chloe!

When I met my husband in our freshman year of college, I told him confidently that we'll be married to each other. Of course, at eighteen, he laughed it off.

Haha the joke's on him.

We're married with two sons.

Call it female intuition. But, I knew I met my life partner.

Defensive much, Chrstne?

Thank you for making my point, though. Saying that you "just knew" is very romantic and sweet, and it implies that you have found your once in a lifetime forever love. Unfortunately, that has little to do with the realities of love and marriage, some of which you listed famously. I have had friends that have used that statement, brides with stars in their eyes, and who have ended up in divorce court. If I said to any of them, "I thought you "just knew"?, they would knock my lights out.

I never said that their love wasn't real at the time...all I said is that that statement implies that there is no doubt, which isn't realistic. Honestly, how can you really KNOW if someone is right? You may know that you are attracted to them and that you love them right now, but beyond that, you really DON'T KNOW anything. If you and your boyfriend get married and stay so for years, you can chime in with your experience then.

Saying you "just knew" makes a good sound bite on a wedding video, though, I'll give you that.

Spacekatgal....never said I was perfect, but I did learn from my mistakes. I fell hard, trusted, loved, and got my a$$ kicked. I can see my past mistakes in so many of the posters here, and I learned the hard way, like we all do.

Telling myself I "just knew" only made me feel horrible about my own judge of character when it didn't work out. I am just more cautious and realistic about men these days, and that suits me. To each his own.

You know, at some point you must have known you were going to marry that person. That's when you know you know. Beyond that? You don't know. You never know, you know?

'Know' just turned into the most ridiculous looking word.

I know.

I definitely knew right away, but I still dated my husband for three years before we decided to get married. It's the kind of thing you must take slower if you take it seriously.

JT, let me try this again.

I can only speak for myself, but I would not say that there was ever a moment where I felt that my relationship with my husband was indomitable. That's a different idea altogether. What I am saying is there was a strong feeling of compatibility right off the bat. It's a je ne sais quoi that was unlike anything I'd ever encountered before. It was a feeling that was screaming "pay attention to this one!"

I would certainly not say today that my marriage is indomitable. I am sure we will face challenges in the future that will require both of us to work, to listen and to compromise. He was laid off from his law firm job of a decade after we'd been married for two months - that was a massive challenge for our relationship.

What I can say is we have the tools in front of us to be married for a lifetime. We have a broad compatibility that was immediately obvious. The choice is up to us to have the maturity to tend to our marriage and keep it healthy.

I hope that makes sense.

I knew on the first date. He knew before that, he says

Spacekatgal....great post, you clearly have a very mature relationship which you appear dedicated to for the long haul. I really do think that's great.

I completely understand what spacekatgirl is saying. I've always had the motto that if you have to talk yourself into liking someone, it's not going to work. It's the advice I give my friends when they go on one date with a guy and "kind of" like him. My bf of almost 4 years and I have definitely had ups and downs, but going back to when we first met, it was like we had known each other forever. I'm usually somewhat shy and reserved around people I don't know, but I never was around him - everything just clicked right away. I think that's what John Krasinski and spacekatgirl are getting at.

I kinda feel this way about an ex
We're still friends, but working through a lot. We just can't stand to not be a part of each other's lives (we were together for 4 years on and off). I really do love him, but maybe we're too passionate to make it work through a marriage. I wish it was as simple as just knowing....

I didn't believe the saying at all until I experienced it this May. It really is true, you just "know." I can say that I have never experienced love like this, nor have I ever thought that I would! I'm so in love and I definitely know it's real.

yea i knew...he knew..it just fit like it hadn't fit ever before!

Ok, we're kind of talking about two different things here.
I definitely think "you just know" pretty soon whether you are compatible with someone or not. It's just a feeling you get, and right away, you know whether or not you have a good chance with the person in question.

But no, I don't think "you just know" whether your relationship will last, and whether you will get married etc. That's impossible to know, no matter how great you feel about someone at the moment. That would be like telling or knowing the future, which personally, I don't think is possible.

And for all the married people saying they just knew, yes I am very happy for you all. But I just think that you guys all "knew" that your bf's/date's were a good match, and then you just got lucky that it actually worked out in the long run. B/c there are tons of people who "just know" and then end up breaking up. Just look at the divorce rate like jazzy said. No one's gut feelings can tell the future, but I do believe everyone's gut feelings can tell you when you have a good chance with someone.

I don't think people "just know." I think that love, true love, is such an intensely complex and beautiful thing that people don't have words for it, and it's easier to use an old adage. I can't explain why I love my boyfriend. I can tell you about 1,000 things he does or is that I love. But those things aren't why I love him. I love him because he's him. And that sounds incredibly stupid, so I just say "when you know, you know."

I vote myth. I think is just a psychological trick...we trick ourselves into thinking this time "we just know!" on some super level...when in reality we have finally decided we are ready for marriage with the person we are with after a loong time rationalizing and reasoning the pros and cons.

I agree with SKG - I knew right away she was awesome! More awesome than anyone I'd ever met before - special, delightful, funny, charming, full of energy. I still feel like that every day!

haha, zeze...i definitely know a lot of people that have decided they were ready for marriage and essentially married who they were with at that time...honestly, it seems to have worked out in these instances, so far

i have been with my husband since high school and we've been through a lot together...it will be twelve years total at the end of this year...so, i can't say i "knew" right away (I was dating someone else when we met), but I definitely knew for quite some time before we decided to get married that he would be my husband...something gets me about him every time i see him, even though i've been seeing him for all this time...it's true, i can't explain it in words...i just feel it...and i can certainly hope that we are fortunate enough to spend the rest of our lives together because i cannot imagine mine without him

Whatever. Total myth.

The first day I saw my husband in high school I told my friends that someday I was going to marry him. 4 years later we started dating and got married a year ago

I agree exactly with chatondeneige. What she said! Lol. I love my boyfriend more than anything else and I know he feels the same way and that we've found true love. But we didn't know that at first, it took us a while to get around to that. We had to learn to trust before we loved.

i let my head decide after we first met 12 years ago, because we lived in different countries. But we kept in touch as friends, and two years ago I emailed him after not being in contact for a while, but always having thought what if? Turned out he had the same feeling, we re-met, and bang! we knew rigth away that we weren't going to mess up this second chance. And now? We're having a baby! this was really meant to be and because we tried to overrule our hearts we had to wait, but the universe intervened and made us have a second go.

My BF and I met on the internet, randomly, through a common friend; he lived 5000 miles away from me, I had never seen him, and we were both in other relationships at the time - yet chat after chat, that "knowing" feeling kept sinking in and blowing my mind - we were just soooo comfortable together, so compatible. I waited for him, I knew it was meant to be. It took a year and a half, but when we finally met in person, it was just obvious. Now it's been almost 4 years - more than 5 since I first KNEW. And the feeling grows every day. So yeah, I believe in "knowing" - I can't swear it will last forever (who knows what life brings you); but he sure is the one for me for a very long time.

Agree with JT, I think it's a nice sentiment but how often does "We just knew" turn into "Oops nevermind."

Like Mr. Big in SATC said when asked if he believed in love at first sight: "I believe in LUST at first sight..."

We were good friends for a year before we started dating, and I think we both "knew" that once we finally got together we would get married. We dated for three years before we actually GOT married, but yeah, I think we both knew. ... and no, you can never be 100% sure about ANYTHING, but living in "what ifs" isn't for me..

To clarify, it wasn't like I saw him and said "I KNOW" -- it was after getting to know him and after seeing what an amazing friend and person he was

No defensiveness at all. I am not trying to defend my point of view against anyone's, I am just saying how I feel. There are people who can make it and people who cannot. Some people just don't have it in them to make it through the long haul, be it communication or a decent sex life, whatever the case may be. When you meet some people, you don't necessarily think "I can marry this one", because they're just people. You date, maybe even for years, and you break up. When I met my boyfriend, it was a very different dynamic. It was hardly being pursued, and hardly going after someone, because it felt like you could say two words, and they would be yours. That happened. Literally, he said "hi" or something, and I was falling all over myself. We have had hard times, and we will have more, but it wasn't like with other guys I have dated. With him, it was just like okay, I can't predict the future, but all I know is that when my dreams come true, whatever they may be, I want you with me. It was the same on his end, too. Maybe we will not be together forever, maybe I will die a horrible death in a tornado...but it is a fact that I wanted forever, and I tried for forever, but stuff happens. To say you know you will be with someone forever is ridiculous. But to say that you know that you found the person you are willing to be committed to forever is not.

I know he is what I want. I guess what I truly knew was that we'd be together for quite some time, right off the bat. It hasn't been too long, 2 and 1/2 years, but we're aiming for much more. For now, I can assure you it'll last at least another 2 and 1/2 years...we want to be together. Hard times do not deter the strong people. I am strong and stubborn, so is he. Unless it's cheating, or like, killing my mom, he's mine.

Christine - I completely agree with your sentiment 100%. There is an assuredness in the feelings that you just don't have with other people. In my case, I feel like no matter what comes up (barring cheating and murder of course), I am willing to struggle through the hard times with him.

I knew with my husband. Not on our first date, but by the time we were at the point where we were serious, I knew he was the person I'd marry.

I'm madly in love with my husband, but there are so many things I don't know. Will he be a good father? Will he always be in love with me? Will I stay in love with him when he's "old" and I'm still middle aged? Will we ever cheat, and could our relationship recover afterwards? I think my husband and I fit together as well as any two people could, but there are so many variables in life that I would be hesitant to say that I "know." I will say that I never had any questions about our relationship; while I never had a lightning strike moment saying "this is the one!", neither did I have a single moment where I asked myself, "whoa, what the heck am I doing? Is this the right thing?" Everything just came naturally.

I think it's important to separate the concepts/myths of "love at first sight" from "you just know". With my bf, we are at the point where we "just know" and our words and deeds on both sides back that up. However, it wasn't "lvoe at first sight". He's a very shy guy, and while I knew he was a good egg, it took a few dates for things to really click. Perhaps I was already on to *something*, though, since I knew he was worth a second and third chance.

Thirty-five years ago, I felt an attraction to my husband, in a way I had never experienced with anyone else, the first moment I saw him. I knew we would eventually be married the first time he called to ask me out. I do believe in "knowing"; but what I believe makes the relationship a lasting one is a strong spiritual foundation that fosters respect for each other and respect for the sanctity of the commitment between two people. "Knowing" is the first step. Working, lovingly and steadfastly, to honor your commitment to each other is then your life's calling.

eh. Call me a cynic but I didn't know. I was happily minding my own business then boom, like in Bambi my future husband sat down next to me and was "twitterpated" or something. He told me it was love at first sight. I'm the kinda person who made him prove it first and then we got married. Actions speak the loudest to me, and boy did he prove it. I still think it's the sweetest thing in the world when he says that. Since he believes it then maybe it's true sometimes.

i knew, he dumped my @ss. hmmmm